


Healing and Celebrating

by MaresThird



Series: Devastation [2]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Portland Thorns, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Total fantasy, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-24 02:59:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaresThird/pseuds/MaresThird
Summary: It's now 2025 and this story looks back on the last three years of Tobin's and Alex's lives together. As they plan to gather to celebrate another reunion of the crash, there's also a special event that may open new doors.





	1. Baby Steps

February, 2025 

 

 

Tobin sits sideways in her chair, a leg dangling off the arm of it, her bare foot sticking out. She swivels it to face Christine when she begins to speak. 

“So, I know from the emails, everything seems like it’s moving forward really well. Let’s just talk about where we stand on this reunion and the match and any details that need our attention, yeah?” 

Tobin leans against the large table, they’re in the conference room that Christine insisted needed at table, while Tobin would have preferred couches, but Christine was much more of a professional than her, so she agreed. She doodles in her notebook, looking up as someone else speaks. 

Erin McLeod is talking about how the find of the inventory is arriving and the website is being tested so purchasing is easy and it won’t crash. Erin joined them last year, after casually working with them for the last couple of years. She’s the Art Director, in charge of design and the themes they want to use with input from Tobin and Christine. She also works with Kling, who heads up the Marketing Department with Allie. 

Allie and Kling both do marketing and sales for the complex, getting sponsors to advertise at their events and offer up selling spaces, merchandise and information booths as well. They’ve been successful, Kling, loving the business side of things and Allie, who enjoys being the head of Social Media and being able to work while being a Mom. 

“All of the legal aspects have been signed off,” Whitney Engen announces, adjusting her glasses so she looks over them and scans everyone at the table, “we’ve left it open to each individual player if they want to donate or keep what they make for the match.” 

“Yeah,” Yael Averbuch speaks up, “without getting into personal financials, we just thought to leave it up to them. If this thing takes off like we think it will, it will be a nice source of income for some players for a few years.” 

“And,” Whitney adds, “that goes the same for the merchandising profits.” 

“Everything’s been cleared with the Player’s Association, who loves us, by the way, USSF, NWSL and UEFA and the others. They don’t love us as much, but I just set free Whit on them and they gave in.” Yael smiles at them. 

“We’re almost sold out and that was since yesterday’s announcement and ticket release. KK’s build up and Allie’s work really built it up.” Lauren Holiday nods, “It should sell out by the end of the week,” she adds. When Jrue was traded to the Trailblazers two years ago, Lauren began hanging out so much, that Tobin told her she should officially work with them. She fits in seamlessly with the office staff, mostly looking after sales and also handling incoming teams’ needs for camps and matches. 

“The hotel staff finally figured out what was going on with the power surges in the one wing of the dorms and we had an electrician in to fix it.” Katherine Reynolds states, looking at her notes, “Uh, we let go of the one bartender who was serving the kids at the last college cup, he was pretty creepy.” 

She looks up, “The day care set up for the staff’s kids is running perfectly,” she smiles, “staff attendance is up and everyone is happy.” Kat runs the dorms and staffing for the events with the banquet center. She studied hospitality in school and it suits her perfectly. 

“Gavin has been awesome,” Lydian Williams smiles at them, “most of the Providence Park security team will be here for the weekend, covering everything with our people, showing them the ropes and volunteering their time.” 

Lyd had had a conversation with Christine a couple of years ago about her plans for retirement when Sinc shared they’d be looking for someone to work with security for their events. The past few years, her and Tobin would job out the events, but now, the schedule was filling up enough to offer positions, full and part time. 

While she finished her career with the Houston Dash, Lyd took online courses and after she retired, Sinc had arranged for her to intern at Providence Park for six months. She’s been with them officially now for over a year. 

Sinc turns to look at Emily Sonnett, “I got nothing.” She shrugs, “there’s camps coming up in August and most of it is set. I’m helping Lauren with dorm bookings for the reunion.” 

All eyes turn to Karina LeBlanc, who’s grinning at them all. “Well, the reception of opening up to the pubic has been tremendous. The city of Portland is working with us to offer special TriMet bus services, and we’ve just begun talks to get our very own extension of the MAX rail. They’re starting a feasibility study.” 

She stands up to pace around the room, “The deal with ESPN to cover the matches is set, they get live coverage, we share coverage for online streaming and we get the replay rights online from our website. Ali and Dalen will call the second match and Dalen and Foudy will call the first one.” 

She sits back down, “Good Morning America wants interviews and is willing to come to us, they want a big name to interview. I’m starting my list of people to ask.” 

“I’m sure they want someone from the crash,” Tobin says quietly with a sigh, leaning forward against the table, “but take Abby off your list for any other interviews. She won’t be here.”

“Why not?” Whitney questions, looking around. 

“Uh,” Tobin looks up at them, “we have a difference of opinions and until her legal issues are cleared up, I’ve told her not to come here.” 

KK is writing is typing on her laptop, “So, she has a prior commitment, then?” she asks, looking up at Tobin. 

“Say whatever you want,” Tobin shrugs, “but she won’t be allowed on the grounds. Lyd, please make sure security is aware of that.” Lydia nods and writes it down in her notebook. 

“For sure,” KK nods and then looks up once again. “Alex’s commercial for the event is hilarious, it’s airing tonight before the Wednesday Night Match on ESPN.” 

With the growth of the league, ESPN got it in their heads finally to help market the league and now they were a ratings success. In fact, so much so, Ali Krieger now hosted a weekly hour long NWSL and National Team show in prime time on Thursday nights. 

Over the past three years, Tobin and Sinc’s complex has hosted tournaments for the NCAA for men’s and women’s teams, Special Olympics events, a USWNT friendly and became an official practice facility for the Portland Thorns Development Academy teams. 

Tobin doesn’t cut the grass as much as she used to, now she has a crew that works the fields. She will occasionally go out and help, but she’s been more interested in developing a new blend of turf and also, she has begun to seriously train for marathons. 

Sinc also spends more time away, mostly with her Mother and family up in Canada. With KK coming on, between her and Kling, they’ve been handling the offers from groups to play at their facility. It’s now rare they have to make a pitch for a tournament, people are calling them, asking about scheduling their tournaments. 

Tobin and Sinc lean back in their chairs at the same time, sharing a glance. Sinc smiles and shrugs, and Tobin does the same. 

“Oh,” Tobin says, “I’ve got it handled for the center circle for the stadium. It’s pretty sweet.” 

“Wow,” Lauren says, leaning back in her chair, “there was a time you were doing it the morning of.” 

“Yeah, well,” Tobin shrugs again, “an idea popped into my head and I sketched it out.” 

“Can we see?” Kling asks, leaning over to look at Tobin’s doodle filled notebook. 

Tobin shakes her head with a smile, “Nah, it’s a surprise.” She snaps her fingers, pointing her left index finger in the air, “Oh, and they’re coming to install they camera stuff they need in the stadiums the second week of May. They’ll be back to work on all the cameras, like, a week later.” 

“Anything else?” Whit asks, looking around expectantly, “I’ve got a plane to catch.” She usually works from home in North Carolina. She splits her time working part time at a law firm there. 

“I think that’s it everybody,” Sinc says, rising from her chair, “thanks so much, everything is looking great.” 

They adjourn their meeting with hugs and goodbyes to Whit and promises of emailing updates. 

Tobin stands and stretches, her arms out above her head when she feels a slap to her stomach, “I think your abs are even better than when you played,” Lauren says playfully, pulling Tobin’s shirt up and tickling her. 

“Stop it, Chen,” Tobin laughs, squirming away from her. 

“You got a marathon coming up soon, right? In June?” Lauren asks as they slowly follow everyone out. 

“Yeah, it’s on Manhattan Beach,” Tobin nods, “I’m kind of nervous, ‘cause it’s my first ocean swim.” She shrugs, “We’ll see how it goes. Lex and I are flying out a week early so I can train in the water and visit her family.” 

“How’s that going?” Lauren asks, touching her arm, “Is it getting better?” 

Tobin scratches at the back of her neck, scrunching her face up, “Kind of,” she says, tilting her head a little. “I get stoned before I leave and bring Zanax with if there’s turbulence.” She sighs, “I’m trying to relax more, like, sober, you know, but it just makes me so tense, I can’t even explain it.” 

Lauren looks at her carefully, “So,” she draws out the word, raising her eyebrows. 

“So, I, like, haven’t had a full on panic attack or anything, since Christmas, but it makes me uncomfortable and right now, I probably shouldn’t travel alone. Or for more than a couple of hours. Or in storms.” Tobin gives her a wry grin, “But, seriously, it is getting better. Ask Lex, I’m not as much of a mess. Besides,” she slings her arm around Lauren as they walk down the hallway, “I want to take Lex to Paris for our honeymoon and I don’t really want to take a boat to get there.” 

“You’ll get there,” Lauren says, “I know you will.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “I think I’m getting there, baby steps.” 

“Oh, and ya gotta propose and marry her first,” Lauren laughs, looking at her watch. “I’ll see ya later,” Lauren hugs her, “I’ve got to pick up the boys and get them ready for soccer practice.” 

“See ya,” Tobin says and realizing she’s in front of her office, steps inside and stretches out on her couch, looking out over the main field. She closes her eyes and thinks about how she started getting over her fear of flying. 

 

 

_February, 2024_

_“Love you,” Tobin says, leaning over to kiss Alex before she slides out to grab her carry on bag._

_“Love you, too, babe,” Alex smiles, “I’ll see you in a few days.”_

_“Text me when you land, okay?” Tobin asks, puckering up for one last kiss._

_Alex leans in and gives her one, gently holding Tobin’s jaw, “I’ve got to run, babe. Love you.”_

_“See ya,” Tobin smiles as Alex closes the door. Tobin pauses to boot up her directions on the navigation system, edging her Nissan HJ SUV out into the flow of airport traffic. She’s got the radio on, trying to sing along, but her attention is drifting._

_She’s nervous. She’s doing this on her own, she hasn’t even brought this up with Jo, her therapist. But she needs to do it. She has to. Going through these past holidays with her driving all over, she knows it silently drove Alex nuts and she wants to be able to get on a damn plane and not freak out._

_Alex hasn’t mentioned a word to her about it, but she just knows it in her bones that it frustrates her to plan an itinerary and even though Tobin offers to drive and let Alex fly, Alex insists on driving with her, claiming that road trips are fun._

_So, she’s heading an hour away to the Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum to see if she gets the heebie jeebies from stepping on the 747 they have there. She figures it’s a good first step. Just being able to stand around the plane and then get on it. Knowing it won’t start or anything._

_She misses the exit because her mind is rambling and she’s trying not freak out that she’s actually doing this and how pissed Alex will be if she found out. She follows the recalculated directions and is soon pulling onto the long driveway up the airfield. She stops to pay at a little booth, handing over a twenty and glancing to see it looks like the kind of place you can get out and wander up to planes as well as go into the hangers that have older planes and exhibits._

_She shoves the ticket on her dashboard like the nice lady suggested and slowly drives to park._

_She sits in the car, trying to ignore how her hands are shaking as she watches planes taking off and landing._

_Her mind replays scenes of her in airports around the world with Christen and Ashlyn and Kelley and her other friends who are gone._

_God, how much they laughed when they traveled. Airport keepy uppy. Airport HORSE. Stealth soccer. Actually playing hide and seek and almost missing their flight. Making soccer balls from the most ridiculous items._

_She shakes her head and sees a tear darken the fabric of her hoodie. She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She keys the ignition and glances at the clock on the dashboard._

_It’s almost time for the museum to close._

_She’s been sitting here for almost two hours._

_She sighs and puts the SUV in gear and finds the lot exit._

_She returns the next day, this time actually entering a hanger and finding a brochure and figuring out where the 747 is displayed. She goes through the space exhibit, finding it distracting and pretty cool. She heads to the other hanger, looking for the plane._

_When she finds it, she sits down on the nearest bench, just looking at it. She’s surprised how large it is, it always seems so cramped on the inside. She marvels at how long the wings are, the tires are huge. The plane is roped off so you can’t walk right up to it, but there is a stairway leading to the entrance and exit stairway at the door in the back._

_Tobin just watches as people climb the stairs, entering the plane, laughing and joking and without a care in the world, exiting quickly, laughing about how old it is and how outdated. Her mnd drifts again to thinking to thinking about her friends and all of the adventures they shared._

_There’s an older woman who stands on the platform in the front, greeting people and escorting them in and popping back out. She keeps glancing at Tobin and Tobin doesn’t even notice she’s looking at her. She’s off in her own world, watching the strangers go through the plane._

_Tobin’s attention is turned to the large glass windows to her left side. A loud plane is taking off, a fighter jet of some sort. She’s looking at it, watching at it’s engines get louder and louder before shooting off, hurtling down the runway a short distance and taking flight._

_“Excuse me,” a pleasant woman’s voice says. Tobin turns to look forward and sees the woman from the 747. “I really don’t mean to intrude,” she smiles gently at her, “do you mind if I sit down?”_

_“No, not at all.” Tobin says, shaking her head and sliding over a little. Tobin can feel the woman is looking at her, at her neck. The scars._

_“I don’t mean to be presumptuous,” the woman says, “but you’ve been sitting here for three hours.”_

_“Oh,” Tobin says, not realizing that’s how long she’s been here. She looks at her watch, it’s almost five. “Um, I, uh, I was in a plane crash,” Tobin says quietly, “and I came here to see if I could get on one.”_

_“Well, I think just being in this hanger is a wonderful first step,” the woman replies. “I’m Ann.” She extends her hand._

_“Tobin,” introduces herself and shakes her hand. “I, uh, was here yesterday.” She shakes her head, “I couldn’t even get out of the car.”_

_“And look where you are right now,” Ann smiles genuinely at her. “Baby steps.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “yeah, you’re right.” Tobin leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees, looking at the floor._

_“I know we don’t know each other,” Ann begins tentatively, her voice soft, “but I’m very sorry for your loss.”_

_“Thank you,” Tobin mumbles automatically and then looks up sharply at her, “You know who I am?”_

_Ann smiles at her, “Yes, dear,”_

_A tear slides down Tobin’s cheek. “Thank you,” she nods swallowing roughly._

_“If you’d like to come back tomorrow,” Ann offers, “I can let you through the ropes, maybe touch the plane?”_

_Tobin eyes her, seeing her sincerity, “Baby steps?” she gives her a small smile._

_Ann nods, “Come around 4:30, sit for a while and when we close, we can take a walk up close to it, if you feel up to it.”_

_“I’d really like to,” Tobin sniffs, “thank you.”_

_Ann pats her leg, “I’ll see you then, okay?”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin sniffs again, trying not to lose her shit in front of this nice lady. She stands up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

_Ann stands up as well, “Have a good night, dear.”_

_Tobin nods as she walks towards the exit, nodding at the guard who locks the door behind her. She makes it to her car, unlocking it a few feet away, flinging herself inside as she starts crying. It’s dark out as she leaves the parking lot, listening to the directions to get back on the freeway and get home._

_She’s in bumper to bumper traffic, it’s lightly snowing and the sound system beeps in that Alex is calling._

_“Hey, you” Tobin says, her voice nasally from crying._

_“What’s wrong, are you okay?” Alex asks, instantly concerned._

_“Yeah,” Tobin says, “I was at Sanderson’s and just had a sneezing fit from the fertilizers.” Tobin lies._

_“What happened there?” Alex inquires, her voice more relaxed._

_“The place makes me sneeze. I’ve been sneezing,” Tobin sniffs, changing lanes to get around a stopped truck. “How was your meeting and stuff?”_

_“Good,” Alex replies, “hang on.” Tobin can hear the phone jostle as a muted greeting from Alex, she’s assuming she’s getting into a car. “Reviewed some new Nike stuff and now I’m on my way to meet Perry.”_

_“Oh, cool!” Tobin enthuses, “I’m glad you’re able to hook up, tell her I said hi.”_

_“I will.” Alex replies, Tobin swearing she can hear her smile. “If it’s not too late, we’ll Facetime you.”_

_“Sweet!” Tobin smiles, “Where are you going?”_

_“I’m meeting her at someplace called Edna’s?” Alex’s voice rises with uncertainty, “Have you been there?”_

_“Yeah, you’ll like it.” Tobin states, “They’ve got a little bit of everything. It’s really good.”_

_“What have you been doing?” Alex asks, her voice a little lower._

_“Missing you,” Tobin says sweetly, “I can’t wait until you come home.”_

_“Neither can I,” Alex sighs, “I don’t know why Nike had me come out here, they could have just shipped the stuff to Portland.”_

_“Weren’t you on TV?”_

_“Well, yeah,” Alex replies, sighing loudly._

_“Well, there’s your answer.”_

_“I miss you.” Alex whispers._

_“I miss you, too,” Tobin smiles, “have fun with Perry.”_

_“If I get my stuff done tomorrow, I’m going to try to get a red eye.”_

_“Just let me know, I’ll pick you up.”_

_“Okay, I’m here, I love you.”_

_“I love you, too, good night.” Tobin says, smiling as she takes her exit, happy to be closer to home. The call ends, and she sighs. She doesn’t like to lie to Alex, but she didn’t want her to worry that she was having a breakdown or totally freaking out while she wasn’t at home._

_Tobin knows her limits and wouldn’t push herself and let her herself get too worked up. Just touching a plane tomorrow would be huge. She wouldn’t push if she knew she couldn’t handle getting on the damn thing._

_That lady Ann was so kind, Tobin considers, that was really nice of her to help me like that. To recognize a stranger was struggling with something._

_The next day, Tobin sits on her bench, watching as Ann greets the museum goers on the stairwell and showing them the 747. Her leg is bouncing nervously, as she looks on, biting her lower lip and trying to pump herself up. In what seems like only a few minutes to Tobin, Ann is gesturing to her and motioning her to meet her by the ropes._

_Tobin stands, brushing her sweaty hands along her jeans to rid them of the moisture and slowly walks to her._

_“Hi,” she says quietly, giving her a small smile._

_“Hi, Tobin,” Ann greets her, “you ready for this?”_

_Tobin nods, straightening her shoulders and taking a deep breath, watching as Ann unhooks the burgundy velvet rope and gestures her to walk past it._

_“I was thinking last night,” Ann begins, “maybe we just take a walk around the plane, here, along the ropes. Then, maybe you can touch a wheel and maybe take one step on the stairs?”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “I think I can do that,” she mumbles, taking a step and looking at the plane._

_The two walk silently around the perimeter of it, Ann not speaking, just letting Tobin lead the way. Tobin eventually saunters under the wing, marveling at the construction, edging closer to the wheel. She stops just before it, tentatively reaching out a shaking hand and laying it on the rubber. The smell of burning rubber fills her nostrils, she glances up and sees twisted, scarred metal for a moment. She squeezes her eyes shut._

_She works to control her breathing, feeling her pulse rise rapidly, hearing her heart beating in her ears. She feels a soft hand on her back, turning to look at Ann, who gives her a reassuring smile. It calms Tobin and she quietly nods and walks to the stairs._

_She stands before them, silently looking up and feeling as if there were too many for her to climb._

_“Just take one step,” Ann offers, “just one.”_

_Tobin grips the handrail and takes a step, bringing her right foot up as well to stand on it. She looks down at her sneakers and sees her feet resting on the metal stair. She looks up and sees the opened door to the plane. She doesn’t move._

_She steps off the stair and lets out a breath._

_“That was wonderful, Tobin,” Ann soothes, “that was very brave.”_

_“Thanks,” Tobin replies, her voice cracking._

_“Are you okay to drive, dear?” Ann solicits, her concern evident._

_“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “thank you, I’m good.”_

_“You’re welcome, dear,” Ann says, reminding Tobin of her own Mother. How sweet she is._

_“Uh, I was thinking of coming back here with my girlfriend maybe,” Tobin says, taking a step back from the stairs, looking up at the plane. “Maybe this week.”_

_“I’m here Monday through Friday from noon ‘til five.” Ann informs her. “When you’re ready, I’ll put a rope across the stairs to keep everyone out and you’ll have the plane as long as you need, you hear?”_

_“Thank you so much,” Tobin says, her voice wavering, “you’ve been so kind.”_

_Ann pulls her in for hug, “Oh, sweetie,” she says, “I’m happy to help in any way I can.”_

_When Tobin pulls up to the terminal to pick up Alex on Thursday afternoon, she spies the three parking stubs from the museum, grabbing them quickly and shoving them in the pocket of her jeans. She wants to talk to Alex about it, then ask her to come with her tomorrow._

_A knock startles her, looking up to see Alex’s smiling face._

_“Tobs, ya got any cash for the delivery guy?” Alex asks walking down the hallway towards the door. They had ordered food for dinner, opting to going straight home from the airport, horny as all get out and wanting to share just how much they missed each other._

_“Yeah, in my wallet,” Tobin calls out from the kitchen where she is unloading the dishwasher._

_Alex spies Tobin’s wallet in the little basket, grabbing it and pulling out some cash. The crumpled tickets peak her curiosity, reaching in to look at one, before opening the door._

_She says nothing about it while they eat, instead, retrieving them afterwards and dropping them on Tobin’s lap as she sits down next to her on the couch._

_“Care to explain?” she asks, her tone is sharp, a little annoyed that Tobin hadn’t mentioned this._

_Tobin just looks at the receipts, her shoulders slumping. After a moment, she speaks. “I want to get on a plane.”_

_Alex really wants to start interrogating her right now, but she knows Tobin will just clam up. So, she takes a deep breath, praying for patience and lets it out. She lays a hand on Tobin’s leg._

_“Babe,” she says softly, “tell me what’s going on?”_

_Tobin leans her head back on the couch cushion, her eyes still down, towards her lap. “I went there to see a plane.” She swallows, “They have a 747 you can get on and sit down and walk through. I wanted to try.”_

_“Did you talk to Jo about this?” Alex asks quietly, even though she’s pretty sure she already knows the answer._

_Tobin shakes her head._

_Alex sighs, “Tobin,” she begins._

_Tobin suddenly stands up. “I know, okay?” she says, “I know I should have talked to Jo. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just had to do it, alright?”_

_“But, Tobin, your PTSD, your condition” Alex starts again._

_“I know my condition,” Tobin snaps back harshly, making Alex recoil in surprise, “I carry it with me every day. Sometimes it’s all I can think about. Will I freak out today? Will all the progress I’ve made leave in the blink of an eye? Will I freak out in public? Will I freak out in front of you again?” she begins pacing._

_Alex is silent, just watching as Tobin nervously moves throughout the living room._

_“I want to be okay getting on a plane.” Tobin repeats, “I want to not have to drive everywhere. I know the holidays sucked because we had to drive to see your family. I want to go places, like I used to. I want to take a vacation with you. I want to see Mount Rushmore. I want to take you to Paris for our honeymoon.”_

_Tobin stops pacing and just looks at Alex, tears streaming down her face, “I don’t want to freak out if we have kids one day. I’m so scared I will.” She confesses, beginning to cry harder._

_Alex stands and walks a few steps to take her in her arms. She feels Tobin bury her head in her neck, she feels her back quaking from her cries. She tightens her grip around, feeling Tobin’s arms snake around her and hold on just as tightly._

_She slowly shifts her weight and rocks them slightly from side to side, murmuring that it’s okay, it will be okay, she’ll be okay. When Tobin calms, she pulls back to look at her. It breaks Alex’s heart how miserable Tobin looks. She guides her back to the couch and they sit side by side, Alex’s arm still around Tobin’s shoulders._

_“I’m sorry,” Tobin whispers, her voice rough, “I didn’t want you to worry, I was being careful, I promise, I was.” She looks up at Alex, her eyes filled with sorrow and regret._

_“Will you tell me how it went?” Alex asks softly, “How did you feel?”_

_Tobin sniffs and nods, “The first day, I just sat in the car, watching the planes take off and land. I couldn’t get out.” She wipes her eyes, finally looking at Alex, “The next day, I went in a hanger ‘cause I didn’t know where the 747 was. It was the space hanger, they’ve got all this stuff from the moon missions and I walked around and checked it all out. It was pretty sweet.”_

_“Sounds cool,” Alex smiles._

_Tobin nods, “Yeah, we should totally go back and check it out,” she says, “so, I got a brochure and then I went in the right hanger. I just sat on a bench and looked at the plane. They’ve got it roped off so, like, you can’t go and touch it, but they’ve got stairs so you can go in it and walk through it.”_

_“How was it sitting there?” Alex questions._

_“You sound like Jo,” Tobin chuckles, leaning over and pecking her lips, “and I mean that in an awesome way.”_

_“Thanks,” Alex smiles, leaning in and kissing her softly, “so,”_

_“Yeah, right,” Tobin nods, “so, there was this museum lady that was standing at the top of the stairs, she would greet everyone and take them in the plane and then come back out. It was near closing time, and she came over to me, and asked if she could sit down.”_

_Tobin wipes at her eyes again, giving Alex a quick smile, “She was so nice, Lex, she recognized me and we talked and she offered to let me come back and walk around the plane and touch it if I wanted.”_

_“That was nice of her,” Alex agrees, silently thanking God for sending someone to look after her._

_“Yeah, Ann’s super cool.” Tobin nods again, “so, I had told her what I did the last two days and she thought I was doing good, taking baby steps. And I was, I wasn’t pushing myself to the extreme or anything, you know?” She sees Alex nod, “So, I went back and at closing, she walked with me around the plane, it’s so big Lex, and I touched a wheel and then went to the stairs. I just stood on one and looked up. And that was it.”_

_Alex smiles, her relief apparent to Tobin. “What are your plans for tomorrow?” Tobin asks._

_Alex shrugs, “Just working out in the morning, nothing else really.”_

_“I told Ann I’d like to come back with my girlfriend and try to get on the plane,” Tobin explains, “and she offered to shut the exhibit down, so it would be just us on it for as long as we want. Would you come with me tomorrow?”_

_“Of course,” Alex smiles, hugging her close, “can I ask a favor though?”_

_“Sure,” Tobin nods, looking at her carefully._

_“Will you call Jo in the morning and tell her what you’ve been doing and get her opinion on how you should do this?”_

_Tobin bites her lip and nods._

_“I mean, I’m just wondering, if you should have a Xanax or a half pill on you, just in case,” Alex explains herself, “or maybe bring your pipe to chill out before.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “I was actually kinda thinking of about that myself.”_

_“That’s Ann,” Tobin points to the woman at the head of the stairs who smiles and gives Tobin a little wave. Tobin waves back, taking Alex’s elbow and escorting her to sit on her bench. They sit in silence, Tobin reaching for Alex’s hand and holding it, Alex rubbing her thumb on top of Tobin’s hand._

_Alex looks over and recognizes that Tobin has her game face on, her jaw set, eyes focused and biting her lower lip with her top teeth. She can see Tobin tilting her head occasionally, knowing she’s having an internal discussion and is possibly pumping herself up to get on the plane._

_She remains silent, nervous as all of the unwanted scenarios are barreling through her mind. She tries to shut them out, but she can’t. She hopes Tobin will be able to handle getting on the plane. She prays she can._

_Tobin stands up, pulling Alex up with her, looking back to give her a small smile, “Ready?”_

_“Yeah,” Alex says, her voice faltering, trailing behind as Tobin walks determinedly towards Ann._

_“Hi, Ann,” Tobin greets, “this is Alex,” she turns towards her, “Alex, this is Ann.”_

_“Very nice to meet you,” Alex says, extending her hand to shake Ann’s._

_“You as well,” Ann smiles, her voice gentle, maternal. Alex can instantly see why Tobin felt at ease with her._

_“Well, would you like to walk around it again or just go for it?” Ann asks, giving Tobin an expectant look._

_“Let’s go for it,” Tobin nods, stepping forward, her hand gripping Alex’s tightly now._

_They walk briskly across the hanger and stand at the foot of the stairs. Ann leans over to Alex, “If you need to leave quickly, just go out through those doors,” she points to an exit nearest them, “just take a left to main parking lot.”_

_Alex nods, “Thank you,” she says, “so much.” Ann smiles and nods._

_Tobin looks at Alex, “Will you go first?”_

_“Of course,” Alex replies, letting go of Tobin’s hand, shaking her fingers before gripping the rail and taking a step up. She takes a few steps and turns when she doesn’t hear Tobin’s feet on them._

_“Babe?” she questions, looking at her._

_Tobin looks at her with wide eyes, nodding, gripping each side rail and slowly taking a step, then another._

_Soon, they are both on the platform, Tobin taking a deep breath as she stands and looks into the open door of the plane. Alex holds out her hand, “You want to try?”_

_Tobin swallows hard, her throat has gone dry, a cold sweat beginning to break out. “Yeah,” she croaks, taking Alex’s cool hand in her now clammy, shaking one. Alex slowly steps into the plane, pausing at the front, looking at her carefully._

_“Just keep breathing, okay?” Alex soothes, “Nice and easy,” She sees Tobin nod and flinch as if she’s trying to reset herself. Then she steps fully into the plane. Alex slowly leads her down the aisle, pausing to turn and carefully watch as Tobin follows, never letting go of her hand._

_She hears Tobin’s breathing quicken, a small cry slipping from her mouth. She turns, “Wanna sit or no?”_

_Tobin nods towards a seat and Alex quickly moves towards it. Tobin follows, letting go of Alex’s hand, and sits. Alex can see the sweat glistening of her forehead, watching as she swallows again, breathing through her mouth and trying to remain calm. Tobin’s foot begins to bounce, she’s biting her lip and blinking rapidly._

_“Let’s go,” Alex urges, standing up suddenly, wanting to get her out of there before she loses it._

_She pulls Tobin up, pushing her out into the aisle, pushing her forward, to the front of the plane as they are only a few rows from entrance. Tobin staggers, a hand out on the seat backs, a whimper of panic coming from her mouth._

_Alex grabs her hand and takes the lead, both of them moving down the stairs quickly, Alex giving a thumbs up to Ann, leading Tobin to the exit she had pointed out._

_As soon as they hit the fresh, brisk air, Tobin lets go of her, dropping both hands to her knees, leaning forward and taking deep breaths. Alex places her hand on Tobin’s back, wanting her to not feel alone, hoping her touch would calm her._

_“Car.” Tobin chokes out, straightening out, looking at Alex with wild eyes, as if she’s not completely aware of where she is right now._

_Alex grabs her hand and powerwalks to the parking lot. Thankfully, Tobin’s SUV isn’t too far away, as Alex is now practically trotting to it, her grip on Tobin’s hand tight. Tobin  
clicks the remote to unlock it, going for the passenger door, opening it and falling heavily into the vehicle. _

_When Alex opens the driver’s side door, she sees Tobin fumbling for the glovebox, opening it with shaky hands, getting her pipe out and finding her lighter. She turns to the side, feet hanging out, taking a deep hit and holding it, before releasing the smoke. She repeats it twice more, before turning to sit properly._

_She’s still breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling, but as rapidly as before. Tears are streaming down her face, Alex reaches over and rubs her forearm through her jacket. Tobin turns to her, opening her eyes and looking her over._

_“Thanks,” she says with an uneven voice._

_Alex just nods, still very concerned. Tobin swallows again, her eyes dropping to the center console, picking up her water bottle, opening it and taking a long drink._

_“Whew,” She sighs, leaning her head back on the seat rest, looking at Alex again. She hands her the keys. She looks tired to Alex, as if she’s been up for an ungodly amount of hours, the stress just taking all of her energy._

_Tobin leans over and grabs her door, shutting it softly and turning to look at Alex again. “Well,” she says, giving her a head tilt, “that could have gone much worse than it did,” she gives her a wry smile._

_“You did amazing,” Alex says heartfully, emotionally. “I’m so proud of you.”_

_Tobin drops her eyes, nodding a little, “I don’t think I can do that again” she begins._

_Alex cuts her off, “We can adjust,” she says quickly, “we can get better at planning our trips, I promise.”_

_Tobin smiles and takes her hand, lifting it and brushing her lips across Alex’s knuckles, “Babe,” she says, twisting to face her more, “what I was saying was, I don’t think I can do that again without maybe getting a little stoned first.”_

_“Really?” Alex is shocked._

_Tobin nods, giving her a little grin, that same little grin that makes Alex feel a jumble of emotions all at once, lifting her heart. She’s only seen that grin a few times in the past few years, and it brings tears to her eyes._

_“I think I just need a little something to keep chill out, ya know?” Tobin states, “Like, I think I let myself get rattled by building it up too much.”_

_“You, you want to try again?” Alex asks carefully, wiping at her eyes._

_“Yeah,” Tobin nods again, “I do.” She says quietly, seriously. “I want to get past this, Lex. I won’t be foolish about it though, I promise.”_

_“We do this together, from here on out, okay?” Alex nearly pleads with her._

_“Yes.” Tobin nods, “We will.”_

_“The stakes and intensity will only get higher,” Alex states, “and we’ll get to a point where there’s no turning back. Once those doors shut…”_

_“I know what you’re saying,” Tobin agrees, “believe me, I’ve thought about it.”_

_“Okay,” Alex says, now turning on the ignition, letting the vehicle warm up, “I just don’t want any worst case scenario stuff happening.”_

_“Lex,” Tobin leans over and kisses her, “we’ll take baby steps, I promise.”_

_As they drive back towards their home, Tobin squeezes Alex’s hand. “Babe?” she asks to get her attention, Alex glancing over and nodding, “I think maybe I should take a half tab of Zanax tonight at bedtime,” Tobin says quietly._

_“Okay,” Alex says quietly, “if you think you need it, then you should do it.”_

_“I just,” Tobin shrugs, “I kinda feel unsettled and like, my mind won’t shut off tonight, ya know?”_

_“This was a huge thing you did today, babe,” Alex says as she drives, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you had some nightmares about it.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin agrees with a sigh._

_“Baby steps, Heath,” Alex flashes a smile at her, “you’ll get there.”_


	2. Moving Forward

_April, 2023_

_Alex is still playing for the Thorns, insisting on a single year contract, again at the league minimum. She’s been feeling great, fit, and happy with her form. She’s still in the starting lineup, ravaging many defenses and scoring goals although she is currently the assist leader in the league._

_In the past off season, after the glow of winning it all began to fade and the novelty of snow began to wear off, she found herself doing much thinking. She knew she wanted to continue her passion for making a difference, impacting lives on a base level and she wasn’t sure how she could do that effectively. She was still helping out her teammates when necessary, but it wasn’t enough for her now._

_She contacted the President of Stand Together, asking to meet for coffee. They discussed what Alex was looking to do and he offered up many suggestions. They ended their chat with Alex agreeing to work with them for the season and seeing if any charity they supported stuck out as something she would like to pursue privately._

_She found that she really liked working with Habitat for Humanity, building houses and making repairs to others. She went often, glad to be just a general laborer, then being assigned specific tasks. Over the course of the season, she got to know the main crew of professionals, taking them out to eat after finishing a house or drinks on and Friday._

_One of the women, who was a contractor, gladly took her under her wing when she saw Alex’s enthusiasm and sincerity in being committed to their cause. She took Alex shopping and guided her in purchasing the correct tools for her own workbag, explaining the differences of the items that she considered must haves._

_Tobin joined her enough for the crew to get to know her as well, but she was perfectly content to let this be Alex’s thing and do just do whatever they needed for her to help out. Tobin nearly had a heart attack when Alex got up on a roof and learned how to shingle and really enjoyed it._

_So, when Tobin broached the subject of her opinion on possibly building their own house together, she was excited. There was an escalating amount of fan interactions on the property that was growing unhealthy. People were leaving items and notes at their gate and it was making both of them a little unsettled. Tobin and Sinc hired fulltime, around the clock security for the facility, but Tobin wasn’t feeling much at ease._

_With the increase of events at the complex, it left her feeling more exposed and her and Alex were on guard when coming and going from their home. It was time._

_They found a ten acre plot not too far from the complex or downtown Portland, nestled in a forested area with a long drive winding through the woods, opening up into a meadow where the existing home sat._

_They’ve decided to take their time on designing their new home, ordering the current one to be demolished by hand as much as possible, and the reusable lumber and any other items going to the Habitat group to recycle in a future home._

_They haven’t consulted an architect yet, preferring to just make their own sketches for now and make sure they get it down to something that works for them. The goal is to break ground next spring and hopefully be in it by the winter of next year._

_Right now, Alex is waiting in the drive thru of the pharmacy, picking up a prescription for Tobin who is down with a horrible bronchial infection. She’s done with practice for the day and looking forward to a quiet evening, taking care of Tobin._

_Her and Tobin have been doing really well, each maintaining their own interests and still finding they love being together and doing almost everything together. Their relationship has been fulfilling to them both, each always showing one another how much they love each other._

_Everyone is already used to them being together. They are asked all of the time when they might get engaged. They’ve talked about it, they know it will happen. Tobin wants to feel more grounded, she’s still speaking and meeting with her therapist, Jo, on a regular basis, working to slowly recover from her issues. Alex wants to get in a routine and settled here in Portland. Neither are in a rush to get married right now._

_She finds Tobin curled up on the couch, a heavy blanket over her, Alex can only see the top of her head. Alex sets the medicine and the soup she stopped off and brought on the counter, being quiet so as not to disturb her. Tobin hasn’t been sleeping much due to the coughing fits from her infection._

_As Alex unpacks the soup, she thinks about the text she got from Tobin earlier. Abby Wambach did indeed file a lawsuit against the USSF and the doctors and therapists who treated her while she was playing. She has been hounding Tobin to join the suit and Tobin has refused._

_It was only twenty minutes after Tobin’s text that she got a call from Abby._

_“Hey kid, how’s it going?”_

_“Hi Abs, how are you?” Alex replies easily, knowing what was coming._

_“Listen kid, I’m going to be blunt,” Abby says, “you’ve got to convince Tobin to join the lawsuit. It’s our chance to show the world how they treated us and set things straight.”_

_“Abby, if she’s said no, I don’t think I can convince her to change her mind.” Alex says flatly._

_“This thing could shake the foundation of women’s soccer and show the world we refuse to be second class citizens.” Abby says firmly, “Will you at least talk to her about it? Please?”_

_Alex sighs, she doesn’t want to be mean about this, she loves Abby, but this is her difficult side to deal with. “I will talk to her. But you need to know this: pestering her like you have been is not going to help, stop calling her.” She says firmly. “Also, please don’t call me again about this, I’ll talk to her. I will not be in the middle of this. If she wants to join the lawsuit, she will call you. Got it?”_

_“Got it.” Abby replies, “Thanks, kid, I knew I could count on you.” Alex feels Abby says this with such confidence that she’ll be able to change Tobin’s mind. She shakes her head._

_“I’ll talk to you later, Abs, I’ve got to go.” Alex closes the call._

_She hears Tobin moving around, mumbling something as she twists to get the heavy blanket off herself._

_“Babe?” she calls softly, knowing Tobin isn’t fully awake yet._

_Tobin mumbles something as she sits up, holding her head in her hands. She starts coughing so Alex picks up her medication and reads the label, opening it and removing two pills. She grabs a water bottle and brings it and the pills to the couch._

_“How are you feeling, hon?” Alex asks as she sits down next to her, handing her the bottle of water._

_Tobin looks up at her with tired eyes, “Achy, tired,” she replies, her voice nasally and flat. Alex holds up the pills and drops them in Tobin’s open hand. “Thanks for getting this,” she says after swallowing them down, “how was your day?”_

_Alex tells her about practice and how they’re prepping to face Seattle. “Did you just lay around after your doctor’s appointment and get some rest?” she asks Tobin._

_Tobin nods, “Yeah, mostly,” they both slide back on the couch, “I told you Abby called again,” she says with a sigh, “she is adamant that I join her stupid lawsuit.”_

_“I know,” Alex says quietly._

_Tobin looks down at the blanket on her lap, picking at it, “Do you think my soccer legacy is tarnished from how I played after the crash?” she asks quietly._

_“What?” Alex demands, “What do you mean? You were shortlisted for Player of the Year in the NWSL and for FIFA when you retired. Hell no.”_

_“Abby said” Tobin starts._

_“Abby is an idiot.” Alex says firmly, “I love her, but she’s off her rocker. I think she’s still using or drinking and maybe has some mental issues. Tobin,” she reaches over uses two fingers to turn her jaw so she’s looking at her, “nobody thinks that and do not let anything she says upset you. She’s full of shit.”_

_“She knows how to hit you where it hurts.” Tobin says softly._

_“Yeah and she’s an asshole for doing that.” Alex says angrily. “Honey,” her voice softens, “please don’t let it bother you. She’s only looking for a payout and being relevant and she’s doing it for all of the wrong reasons.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “you’re right. I’ve just got to grow a thicker skin when it comes to her.” She looks Alex in the eyes, “Thanks, babe,” she gives her a tired smile._

_They sit in silence for a minute, Alex stewing over Abby._

_Tobin clears her throat, “I talked to Tyler, Dan and Stacy, they all signed off on all of the merchandising agreements and royalties and stuff.”_

_“That’s great,” Alex smiles, “so, then, everything’s set, right?”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin scratches at her head, “everybody is all in, and they all want to stay in the dorms for the reunion, so I shot an email to Kat so she can contact them. Then Stacy called a little after I spoke with Ty,” Tobin smiles, looking at Alex, “she wanted to make sure I was okay, Ty told her how horrible I sounded.”_

_“That was sweet,” Alex smiles back, “she’ll always Mother you,”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, leaning over to pump a few squirts of the hand sanitizer that she put on the side table, “I think it’s so awesome how supportive they’ve been.” She says as she rubs her hands together, “of me, after the accident, of us being together. I think it’s pretty special.”_

_“I agree,” Alex nods, “I think they’re a very special family.” She takes Tobin’s hand, smiling, remembering how Tobin refused to touch her if she hadn’t cleaned her hands, not wanting her to get sick. “I was kind of nervous to face them after we got together, but they were so incredibly nice.”_

_“So was I,” Tobin murmurs, “They were so awesome about it, though.”_

_“They were,” Alex agrees, “even Tyler and Channing, everyone was so encouraging.” She stands up, “I’ve brought you some soup,” she says and goes to the kitchen to bring it back to her, “and you need to eat it, because it says to take your meds with food.”_

_Tobin nods, “Yes, Nurse Morgan.”_

_Alex sits back down and leans over to kiss her cheek, “I can’t wait to play Doctor with you soon,”_

_Tobin wiggles her eyebrows at her as spoons the soup, “I kind of like the idea of a sexy nurse taking care me,” she smirks, her eyes roaming over Alex’s cleavage._

_“Soon, babe,” Alex laughs, “soon.”_

_March 22, 2024_

_“You did really well this time,” Alex says as she drives out of the air museum’s parking lot, “even Ann thought so.”_

_Tobin unwraps a lollipop, sticking it in her mouth, “I felt better, I really did,” she agrees, her speech a little garbled from the weed candy. She bought more edibles recently after Alex made a comment about her car smelling like weed._

_They’ve been coming here at least twice a week now since Alex joined her. Ann suggested that they were ready for the next step, going to the Pearson Air Museum up in Vancouver, Washington. It’s straight north of them, actually closer than this museum. Ann explained that they a simulator with flight attendants and the plane even simulates starting. She said it was very realistic and would probably help her even more than just coming on her plane._

_Ann had mentioned this to Alex on the side a few visits ago, wondering if she should tell Tobin about it, they both agreed Tobin could use a few more visits before moving on._

_They had gotten to know Ann a bit through these visits, even taking her to dinner a few times._

_Alex dug into her purse, presenting Ann with a card from both of them, Tobin writing her a heartfelt message of thanks and a gift card to an indoor waterpark and hotel place near here that she and her husband could take their grandchildren for a weekend as a thank you for all that she had done for them._

_“You ready for tomorrow’s match?” Tobin asks her._

_Alex smiles, “Yeah, I’m excited for the season to start. I still can’t believe we went back to back on winning the Shield and the Championship. St. Louis is gonna try to kill this season, they wanted it so bad.”_

_Alex is referring to the St. Louis Athletica FC, which was a team resurrected from the WPS days. Since entering the NWSL a few years ago, the team was fast becoming a top contender. There’s currently twenty teams in the league with the chance of adding two more in the next two years._

_Tomorrow’s match is against the USWNT U-21 team, it’s the same pre-season tournament that Portland hosts from when Tobin was playing._

_“I was thinking, maybe I could drive over with you?” Tobin considers, “Em and I were gonna meet up and maybe tailgate with the Riveters and kick it around.”_

_“Oh, that sounds fun,” Alex smiles, the frowns, “why aren’t you looking at me?”_

_Tobin laughs, gesturing her hand forward to the windshield, “I want you to watch the road!”_

_“I can do both!” Alex snorts, “Brat.” Tobin just laughs._

_“Nice match,” Tobin greets Alex afterwards, nodding to the other players who pass by. “You were not nice,” she shakes her head, wagging a finger at her with a smirk, “a thirty-five-year-old beating up on the youngsters.” Alex had scored a hat trick in the first half of the match._

_Alex laughs, “Well,” she tosses her head, her ponytail striking Tobin’s face, “now they can say they got their asses kicked by an old Alex Morgan.”_

_Tobin kisses her, “Ooh, I like it when you talk dirty,” she whispers._

_Alex leans close against her, using her nose to trail up Tobin’s neck to whisper to her, “Like, I want you to sit on my face and I’ll lick you and suck on you until you explode in ecstasy?”_

_Tobin kisses her neck, “Oh, yeah,” she whispers back, “and then I’ll tie you to the headboard and fuck you so hard you’ll be screaming as I make you cum.”_

_They kiss again, both getting worked up when they hear a voice._

_“Break it up you horn dogs!” A German accent fills the air._

_Tobin and Alex step apart, both a little flushed, “Nadine!” Tobin exclaims, “So good to see you!”_

_“How is my favorite Ice Bear?” Nadine asks as she pulls Tobin in for a tight hug. “I hear you are doing a triathlon, yes?”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin grins, “in July.”_

_Nadine looks at Alex, “You tell me when, I’ll be there.”_

_“It’s July” Tobin starts, stopping when Nadine silences her with a hand wave, “I must plan with Alex.”_

_Tobin opens her mouth to say something, then closes it because she knows better not to argue with the German._

_“You come to the opener?” she asks, looking at her expectantly, “We win when you come.”_

_Tobin smiles, “The team wins because they’re good, not because I’m there.”_

_“No.” Nadine replies simply, “you bring magic, you and Sinc. But mostly you.” She winks at them, “Don’t tell the Canuck.”_

_They laugh and Nadine makes her way out._

_Tobin slides her arm around Alex as they walk out to the parking lot side by side, “Now, as I was saying,” she says, her voice low and sexy, “how about we get something to eat and then you can eat me?”_

_Alex bursts into laughter, pushing her away and slapping her arm, “If you weren’t so fucking hot and sexy, I’d say you were ridiculous,” she eyes her, raising an eyebrow, “but that sounds like an amazing idea.” She moves next to her as they walk._

_“Well, let’s get on it,” Tobin chuckles, “I’m hungry!” she demands, slapping Alex’s ass._

 

March, 2025 

 

Tobin looks up from her desk at the sound of the knock on her open door. “Hey, got a minute?” Sinc asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, “what’s up?” she drops her pen. 

Christine takes a seat, “I feel weird, do you?” 

Tobin tilts her head, not understanding. “How do you mean?” 

“Like, almost everything is finished for the reunion, I don’t really have anything to do,” Christine says, scrunching up her face, “it’s weird.” 

Tobin looks at her, leaning back in her chair, “I think,” she slowly, “you are missing having a goal, a mission.” 

Christine nods, “I think you’re right,” she sighs, “I mean, the charity stuff is fulfilling, but it’s not that, you know?” 

Tobin nods. “Come be an Ice Bear with me.” She offers. 

SInc’s eyes are wide, “Do a triathlon?” 

Tobin is nodding and grinning at her, “Totally, it’s so rad!” 

“Hmm,” she ponders, “April, May, June,” she looks at Tobin, “you think three months to train will be enough?” 

“How many miles are you running? Fifteen?” Tobin asks as Sinc nods. “Can you swim?” 

“I know how,” Sinc shrugs, “I’ve done some in the off seasons, years ago.” 

“Well, what if I hook you up with a group to train?” Tobin offers, “They show you how to do everything and work with you to make sure you peak at the race.” 

Christine leans forward in her chair and then stands up, “It was pretty awesome watching you the last few times,” she admits, “okay,” she nods. “Send me the info.” 

“Sweet!” Tobin exclaims, standing up from her desk, “Kat and Sonnett are doing it too. Lydia, too. I think you’ll get a lot from it, I know I sure do.” 

“Yeah,” she reaches her fist out for a knuckle punch, “I’ve seen it.” She grins. 

“Welcome to Team Ice Bears!” Tobin grins as Sinc laughs. 

 

 

_May 29, 2023_

_“Hey, Jules,” Tobin greets as she signals for a beer, “got a minute?”_

_“Hey Tobin,” Julie Foudy smiles at her, grabbing a beer and turning to face her, “what’s up?”_

_“Talk a walk?” Tobin suggests, nodding towards the doors. Julie nods and they walk out. Tobin leads her to the pitch, the night sky is nearly black, the stadium only lit with the dim red glow of the exit signs and the soft light on the players banners that hang. It's the annual reunion and Tobin is on mission to get Foudy's opinion on something._

_They sit in the center circle, talking about the league, Julie insisting Tobin should do commentary on matches and Tobin demurring._

_“So, I’ve got an idea and I want to know what you think,” Tobin says, reaching into her pocket and taking her lighter out, taking a hit from her pipe. She offers it to Julie, who inhales like a pro._

_“I want to keep this under our hats until we know something might come of it, okay?” Tobin asks, knowing that Foudy wouldn’t betray her trust._

_“Sure, Tobs,” she agrees readily._

_When she tells her what she was thinking about, Julie mouth opens and no words come out._

_Tobin laughs, “I’ve never seen you speechless!”_

_“Well, that is a fucking amazing idea!” Julie exclaims, “Do you know how much this could help some of them? And if it takes off, how amazing it could be?”_

_Tobin just nods. “What do you say we get some others out here to talk?” she suggests, taking her phone out and texting Alex, Allie, Sinc, D-Math and Desiree Scott._

_Julie is nodding as she texts her group._

_“I’ll be right back,” Tobin says, getting up and jogging over to one of the equipment sheds, “And tell them to bring beer!” she shouts over her shoulder._

_Tobin comes back driving a cart and is unloading it when the group starts to filter onto the pitch._

_“Tobin!” Allie calls out, “I’m not doing another one of your weird naked ceremonies to the soccer gods!”_

_“I don’t know,” Kristine Lilly nudges Tiffeny Milbrett, “that’s sounds kind of interesting to me,” she smirks._

_“Hey, Mia!” Julie shouts, “Remember the last time you took your clothes off on a pitch?”_

_“Shut up!” Mai Hamm yells back, “We are never to speak of that!”_

_“Oh, I want to hear that story!” Sinc laughs, elbowing Alex, “I’m sure we’ve all got one like it!”_

_They gather in the center circle, Tobin having set up a light on a tripod, casting a glow so they could see each other._

_Once they were settled and the beers were passed around, and the pipe, Tobin begins._

_“So, let me get this straight,” Diana Matheson says, after Tobin finishes speaking, her hands moving as she speaks, “if this were to happen, you’d basically be creating national teams and an all star team for players out of NWSL? And they would get paid for playing in friendlies? And merch? And it would all go through the NWSL Players Association so they would get like, real checks and either keep it or donate it?”_

_“Exactly,” Tobin nods, a wide smile spread across her face, her eyes dancing in the light._

_“Fucking brilliant for a comm major,” Allie mutters._

_Alex elbows her, “Okay, exercise science,”_

_“Tobin,” Julie says, “this is, this is incredible,” she takes a drink of her beer, “what can we do?”_

_“I was thinking,” Tobin states, “we’d set the goal for 2025 to be the first matches, the anniversary of our World Cup, and maybe have two matches. The 15ers against, maybe Canada’s greatest and then do an open skills competition, and then the next match would be the 99ers against the NWSL?”_

_“First: see who’s down to play, you guys get the 99ers,” she gestures to Julie, Tiff, Mia and Lilly, and you guys, gesturing to Sinc, D-Math and Scott, “you guys get Canada. Me, Harry and Lex could get the 15ers and I’d have Yael get the NWSL players.”_

_“Sounds like a plan.” Lilly nods, raising her bottle up, “Way to go,” she nods at Tobin._

_Tobin just kind of shrugs and then says, “So, there’s still legal stuff that Yael and Broon need to work out, but maybe we keep this on the down low until the first of the year? Like, just, whoever you’re talking to just tell them to be chill with it? I just wanted to talk to you guys in person about this first.”_

_“This could end up expanding,” Sinc says quietly, looking around at everyone, “I mean, this could become huge. We could easily get Brazil, Sweden, Australia, and England, this could really become something. It could eventually go global.”_

_“Well,” Alex says, thinking about Tobin and flying, “I’d say, let’s just work on this and we’ll see how it goes.” She looks at Sinc, “You’re right, though, I can see it happening.”_

_“What about FIFA?” Desiree asks, “Won’t they want a cut?”_

_“That’s what Yael and Becky are looking into.” Tobin answers, “There are some loopholes and we want to be upfront with them, offer something or just be separate. Depends on if they respect our offer.”_

_“You really don’t need them,” Julie says quietly, “I mean, I know what you’re saying, but you guys really would have the upper hand.”_

_Tobin smiles, “Exactly.”_

_“Okay,” Allie say, “I want to hear about Mia being naked on a soccer pitch.”_

_The group laughs and starts chattering away, the younger group enthralled as Mia, Julie, Tiff and Kristine share stories they’ve never heard before late in to the night._

 

 

April, 2025 

Alex sets the bags down from the grocery store, looking at the note Tobin left her. She puts the items away, changes her clothes and takes a golf cart to the far practice pitch where Tobin is. She shuts the motor off and sits in the cart, watching as Tobin is taking free kicks, hitting the painted targets in the turf, shot after shot. 

She watches how fluidly she moves, planting her foot, spinning the ball, putting perfect pace on it for the header she knows she’s imagining connecting with. She wistfully wishes that Tobin had those years back, where she could still play, maybe she would be playing now, knowing that Tobin is at peace with it all, but it still nags at Alex’s heart. 

She’s so excited about the upcoming matches, to see Tobin in a uniform and on the pitch again. Playing with her again. She knows she’ll cherish every single minute of it. 

She slides out of the cart, slowly beginning to warmup, thinking about how Tobin is so happy doing these triathlons. 

 

_February, 2024_

_Alex walks out of the bedroom to see Tobin sprawled on the couch, her laptop resting on her stomach as she looks to be entering in her credit card for something._

_“Whatcha doing, babe?” she asks as she passes her, going to the kitchen to get a drink._

_“Uh,” Tobin says, “I signed up for something.” She says, smiling as at Alex as she sits next to her._

_“What’d you sign up for?” Alex asks, taking a sip of her chocolate milk._

_“A triathlon.” Tobin grins._

_“A…triathlon?” Alex questions, raising her eyebrows at her._

_“Yep!” Tobin nods._

_“When was the last time you went swimming?” Alex asks, trying to remember when that could have happened._

_Tobin shrugs, “I signed up with a training group. They’ll teach me everything I need to know. Gear, pacing and training stuff.”_

_“Sweetie,” Alex says, setting her drink down on the coffee table, “I know you’re in shape, but isn’t that, like, running a marathon and biking a hundred of miles?”_

_Tobin shakes her head, “That’s the Iron Man,” she explains, “that’s like, the best of the best. This is a beginner Olympic one, it’s just a 1.5k swim, a 40k bike and a 10k run.”_

_“A 40k bike?”_

_Tobin shrugs, “I’ve got time to train, it isn’t until the end of July.”_

_“Huh,” Alex muses, “that does sound kind of cool.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “I don’t mind working out, but I’ve missed the competitive part. You know, knowing that your training will pay off for something. So, I think I’ll get a lot of out this.”_

_“When is it?” Alex asks._

_“Last Sunday in July,” Tobin nods._

_Alex frowns, she gets up and grabs her phone, texting as she walks to the couch._

_“What?” Tobin questions, looking at her curiously._

_Alex looks down at her phone as it chirps. She smiles. “I was checking with Gavin to see if he knew if we had a home match that weekend. We do.”_

_“Cool.”_

_“I’ll be there to cheer you on.” Alex says and leans over to kiss her. “You’re gonna rock it, babe.”_

_In the weeks that followed, Tobin gained a new appreciation for the sport, learning about the gear necessary, how her bike worked, it was a borrowed one from the training group until she made a decision on purchasing one, the training schedule._

_Their nights were filled with talking about training schedules and nutrition, Alex learning and trying some of the new protein mixes Tobin brought home and feeling a difference in her performance._

_Nights were spent with Alex running her hands over Tobin’s body feeling the new definition in her muscles, making her ache with want, again and again._

_July 29, 2024_

_Alex watches as Tobin flies by on her bike, a study of concentration. Her leg muscles flexing as she speeds past. She turns to Christine who’s lowering her camera, “She’s bleeding!” she exclaims, worry setting in._

_Christine nods, “I saw,” she says, “we got to move to the next spot.” She turns, “Guys!” she gets the attention of their group, “Let’s go!”_

_More of the crowd is moving towards the next vantage place to see the cyclists near the end point of the biking portion. Between Alex and Nadine, their group swelled as most current Thorns were watching, including coaches and front office staff, friends and even family coming out._

_The Riveters heard about Tobin’s race and the crowd was peppered with supporters holding up signs and Heath scarves, chanting her name as she went past._

_Alex had convinced Tobin to sign up for the charity offering, deciding to race for making soccer more accessible in Portland and working with Operation Pitch Invasion, a group attached to the Timbers supporters, creating soccer and futsal pitches in schools and parks around Portland. The night before her race, Tobin teared up showing Alex the total amount of donations._

_It was just a little shy of $450,000.00._

_Alex is anxious, holding onto Sinc’s arm as Tobin approaches in her run. “Let go,” Sinc demands, shaking her off, “I can’t take pictures like that.”_

_Alex is worried as Tobin approaches, she sees a thin line of blood coming down her shin, she has a scrape on her shoulder and calf. She’s wearing sleek, orange and black one piece running and biking outfit, hugging her body. The top is sleeveless with the compression bottom coming down mid-thigh. They all start yelling, Nadine and A.D. waving Ice Bear flags, one of the Tobin chants from the Riveters being sung._

_Tobin raises her head, glancing from side to side, her eyes covered with sunglasses so Alex can’t see if she’s in pain. Tobin gives everyone a peace sign as she nears, her pace fast, close to a sprint, looking as if she’s not exhausted._

_Alex is watching, now seeing a scrape on her forearm and elbow, wondering what happened. She looks at her, and sees Tobin finding her in the crowd, mouthing out, “I love you,” and smiling like crazy. She says it back, not realizing she spoke it aloud._

_Alex finds her at the finish, Tobin with both hands on her head, catching her breath, a medal draped around her neck._

_“You did it!” Alex exclaims, taking her in her arms, “I’m so proud of you!”_

_“It was amazing, Lex,” Tobin pants, “so fucking awesome!”_

_One of the volunteers approaches and hands Tobin one of those silver foil blankets and gestures for her to go to the First Aid tent._

_“What happened?” Alex asks, laying her hand on Tobin’s shoulder as the medical volunteer cleans the scrape on her other one._

_“There was this gnarly crash, I didn’t see it happening until one of the bikes slid into me,” Tobin explains, speaking fast, still feeling her adrenalin rush. “My boot came out of the pedal and the cleat smacked my shin,” she says, looking down at the bloody bruise forming on her right leg._

_“Are you okay?” Alex asks, moving her head to look in her eyes._

_“Yeah,” Tobin grins, “it’s like getting a few turf burns, no biggie.”_

_Tobin thanks the volunteer after getting bandaged up, agreeing to take a photo with her while Alex shrugs the backpack she’s wearing off, opening the compartment and handing Tobin a t-shirt. Tobin unzips her top, using the towel Alex hands her as well, wiping the sweat from herself and putting the shirt on. Alex kneels down and unlaces Tobin’s running shoes, taking them off carefully, not sure if she’s got any blisters. She takes off the low socks, drenched with sweat._

_Tobin stands and shimmies out of the bottom, revealing her Nike Pros, putting on the thick warm up pants Alex hands her._

_“Socks or no?” Alex asks, holding up a pair of thick crew socks._

_“Yeah,” Tobin says, “the breeze is kind strong,” she goes to bring her leg up but Alex presses on her thigh, kneeling to put them on herself._

_She leaves a pair of slides on the ground for Tobin to step into. Standing, Tobin reaches out and hugs her tightly again, “Thanks so much,” she says, kissing her lips softly, “I love you so much, Lex.” Her eyes are sparkling, loving at Alex with so much affection. Alex melts all over again looking at her, impulsively kissing her hard, unable to contain her emotions._

_When Tobin shivers, Alex breaks their embrace and hands her a full zip hoodie, pulling the medal out from under her shirt and lying it on her chest._

_She throws a strap of the backpack over her shoulder as they walk hand in hand towards the beer tent where their friends await them. Tobin finishes a small Gatorade on their walk, dropping the empty bottle in a recycling container and accepting a beer from Nadine amid the cheers from the group._

_Sinc and Sonnett come up with Tobin’s gear, Emily setting her bike helmet on the table._

_“Why is your helmet scratched?” Alex asks, looking at the side of it._

_“The crash, I guess,” Tobin shrugs. She explains to the group what happened during the biking portion._

_A.D. looks up from her phone as Tobin finishes, “Tobs, you crashed in the race and still finished third in your age group?”_

_“Huh?” Tobin looks up, “I did?” She’s eating some watermelon and pasta salad. And drinking beer. Alex cringes as she watches her and finds it disgusting but says nothing._

_A.D. nods and shows her phone to her where she’s pulled up the stats._

_“Let’s see your medal,” Alex suggests, she’s standing behind Tobin rubbing the base of her shoulders._

_Tobin looks it at, “Huh,” she says, turning it around so the others can see, “I guess I did.” She grins._

_“Tobin,” A.D. says again, still looking at her screen, “as of right now, you finished twentieth overall, out of, fuck, like, out of 400 people!”_

_“Woah,” Tobin says, “that’s pretty rad!”_

_Alex and Tobin are walking to her Tobin’s vehicle, holding hands while Tobin is pushing her bike and Alex is carrying her gear._

_“How are you?” Alex asks as they near where she’s parked._

_“I think I’m a little drunk,” Tobin gives her a toothy grin, “Probably shouldn’t have chugged that beer with Nadine.” She chuckles as she lifts her bike onto her rack._

_Alex shakes her head, “Well, you had reason to celebrate, babe,” she chuckles as she opens the back door, setting her bags on the seat._

_“You feeling good?” she asks as they get in, Alex at the wheel._

_“I’m fantastic!” Tobin exclaims, buckling her seatbelt._

_“I’m so sore!” Tobin cries as she tries to get out of SVU, she’s leaning on the seat, her ass holding her up, a hand on the door, steadying her. “Just leave me here, save yourself,” she laments, sighing heavily._

_“Just stay,” Alex laughs, “I’ll be right back,” she takes the gear bags out of the back seat and enters the house from the garage side door. She leaves it open when she returns, standing in front of Tobin. She does actually appear to be in some discomfort and Alex takes pity._

_“Here,” she says, turning around and squatting down, “get on,” Tobin lurches forward and drapes her arms around Alex as Alex grabs her legs and rises to carry her inside._

_“Bless you,” Tobin says as she lays her head on Alex’s shoulder._

_“Get naked,” Alex orders as she sets Tobin down on the massage table she set up in their bedroom._

_“Oh, honey, I’m not in mood,” Tobin jokes, slowly letting her towel drop from the shower she just took._

_“Can it, Heath,” Alex smirks, getting the bottle of oil from the closet shelf, “I’m helping you out here.”_

_Tobin lies on her stomach, arms to her sides, head through the padded hole, emitting a deep sigh as Alex begins to massage her feet._

_“You looked so strong out there,” Alex murmurs as she works Tobin’s calf muscles, “I really had fun watching you.”_

_“Mmmmm,” Tobin moans, “Lex, it was so cool, so different than a team thing, but so satisfying. I can’t wait to do it again.”_

_“I’m so happy you found something like this to fulfill you that way.”_

_“Yeah,” Tobin says, “I can’t wait to better my time.”_

_“Well,” Alex chuckles as she moves higher up her legs, “don’t get in a crash and you might win.”_

_“How cool would that be,” Tobin murmurs, grunting as Alex works on her hamstrings._

_“Sorry,” Alex says, feeling Tobin stiffen beneath her hands._

_“It’s okay,” Tobin breathes out, “thank you so much doing for this,”_

_“Oh, just you wait for the thank you’s,” Alex laughs low, “the day is young and I want to show you just how proud I am of you,” she says, her hands moving higher and dipping to Tobin’s inner thighs._

 

 

April, 2025 

 

Alex joins Tobin on the pitch, trotting towards the goal and kicking balls back to her. 

“You wanna take some shots?” Tobin asks as she corrals the balls, smiling at her. 

“No,” Alex shakes her head, “I want you to feed me some balls,” she smiles, thinking how in one month they’ll be doing this in a game. 

Tobin grins at her and nods, watching her move to the midfield. They begin, doing the same drills they’ve done since they were teenagers on youth teams.


	3. Progress

_July 8, 2024  
“Are you positive you want to do this?” Alex asks as they grab their luggage from the back of the Uber they took. _

_“Yes.” Tobin says firmly, sticking the sucker she's eating back in her mouth and handing Alex her suitcase, “I have to,” she says, her words garbled from the candy in her mouth._

_“Okay,” Alex nods, taking her hand as they enter the terminal at PDX._

_“Alex!” A voice rings out, she turns to see a man their age walking briskly towards them, “Jaime,” he greets, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you,” Alex replies, “This is Tobin.”_

_Tobin shakes his hand, “Hi,” she says, “how’s it going?”_

_“Good,” he smiles, “if you’ll follow me, we’ll take very good care of you today.” He nods and turns. They both follow._

_Jaime gets them through check in effortlessly, he has a private TSA screening and then settles them in a small room overlooking the jetway at their gate. He hands them each a bottle of cold water. “There’s some snacks over there if you’d like anything, please feel free.” He instructs. “I’ll be back when it’s time to board, okay?”_

_“Yes, thank you so much,” Alex says as she guides Tobin to a bank of chairs. “You want a snack?” she asks her, trying to read how she’s doing._

_“Nah,” she shakes her head, “I don’t want to hurl.”_

_“Ew,” Alex scrunches her nose at her, “you’re not gonna hurl,” she says, sitting down close to her, taking a hold of her free hand, “you’re gonna be just fine.”_

_Tobin takes a deep breath, “Yeah,” she says, “I will.” She gives her a small smile._

_It’s a Sunday morning and they are taking Tobin’s first flight to Seattle for a couple of days. The Thorns played last night, Alex did her recovery this morning and they have an additional extra day off due to the fact that they have a match on Sunday instead of Saturday. Mark had decided to give them an extra day to celebrate the victory and give them some rest._

_The plan is to fly back on Tuesday afternoon so they can have an early evening before Alex has practice the next day. Tobin is taking a scheduled break from her triathlon training. Both are ready to relax. Both know Tobin just has to get through this flight._

_Alex refrains from continually asking Tobin if she’s doing alright, sensing it would annoy her and also just preferring to monitor her body language. She knows she’s nervous, her foot is tapping against the floor, but it's just at a medium pace, not frantic when she’s really worked up. She’s chilling out with the edible lollipop, having taken a couple of hits of weed before they got picked up for the airport._

_Jaime was the Alaskan Airlines representative that took care of all of the Thorns travel arrangements and when Alex called, he assured her they would accommodate her requests._

_He made sure to let her know that the crew would be aware of Tobin’s uneasiness and they would do all they could to help her on this flight._

_“Sorry, I know it’s just you two,” the flight attendant smiles at them, “and I’m positive you’ve heard this a million times, but it’s FAA rules.”_

_Tobin’s head swivels around arching her back to look at the empty plane. “It’s just us?” she questions Alex, who’s sitting next to her. Alex nods._

_“Did you do this?” Tobin asks quietly, looking at her carefully. They're the only two passengers on the plane._

_“Uh huh,” she says, “I hope we get a cookie.”_

_“Babe,” Tobin says softly, “you didn’t have to do this,”_

_Alex pats her leg, “I know, but I did, so sit back, and listen to the nice lady.”_

_The attendant grins and speaks rapidly, going over the usual pre-flight announcements, finishing in record time. “I’ll come back for drinks once we’re at cruising altitude,” she says warmly, “my name is Miranda, just yell out if you need anything, alright?”_

_Tobin looks up at her, “Thanks,” she says, “a lot.” The attendant gives her a quick smile and heads to the front of the plane._

_“You want some music?” Alex asks, offering her an earbud. Tobin nods and takes it, settling into her seat._

_“I can’t believe you bought out a whole plane,” she says quietly, “Lex,”_

_“Ssshhh,” Alex coos, putting her hand on top of Tobin’s which is gripping the armrest tightly. She had noticed how Tobin’s knuckles were white from her grip, “it’s okay.”_

_The plane lurches a moment, causing Tobin to gasp, before it slowly pulls back from the gate, entering the jetway to take off._

_“Just breath,” Alex murmurs, watching Tobin lean back into her seat, closing her eyes and take deep breaths._

_Tobin emits a soft whimper of fear as they take off, breathing heavy for a little bit until the plane levels off. When Miranda came by to offer drinks, Tobin shook her head and Alex asked for a some water._

_Once she got her drink and a famous cookie, she assured the attendant they were good and digs into her backpack under the seat in front of her feet._

_“Hey,” she nudges Tobin’s arm, “wanna see if you can beat me?” she raises an eyebrow, giving Tobin a smug look. She’s shaking a battered deck of Monopoly Deal cards._

_“Seriously?” Tobin asks, shaking her head, “You want to do this now?” Alex nods, grinning at her._

_Tobin contemplates for a moment. “Shuffle and deal,” she says, giving her a small smile, reaching forward to drop her tray table, “you’re going down.”_

_“Lex!” Tobin exclaims, shaking in her seat, hands gripping the arm rests, tears on her face, “Chris!” she cries as the plane descends for landing._

_“No, no, no,” Alex says, gripping her hand, “Tobin, look at me,” Alex says, reaching over and gently grabbing Tobin's chin so she looks at her, seeing Tobin open her eyes, “we’re going to Seattle, remember? Just to Seattle for some fun.”_

_“Right. Seattle,” Tobin nods, “fun,” she says, breathing heavy, “this is fun.” She looks at Alex, panic in her eyes, “I’m having fun, you having fun?”_

_“We’re almost there,” Alex lays her hand on Tobin’s thigh, squeezing it, “you’re doing great.”_

_As soon as they land, Tobin is leaning into Alex, crying as Alex holds her. Miranda looks concerned but Alex gives her a thumbs up. She indicates she can give them ten minutes with hand gestures and Alex nods. She comes back and sets a warm damp hand towel on Alex’s leg, giving her a quick smile and heading back to the front of the plane._

_Tobin regains her composure after a couple of minutes, using the towel to wipe her face and calm down. Her hands are still shaking but she looks to be okay to Alex._

_When they stand to gather their items from the overhead bins, Tobin hugs Alex from behind, resting her chin on Alex’s shoulder. “I love you,” she says, “I couldn’t have done this without you.” She kisses her cheek._

_Alex pats Tobin’s hand that on her stomach, leaning back and turning her head to look at her, “I love you, too,” she says, “I’m so proud of how well you handled it. Jo will be, too.”_

_Tobin squeezes her, “Can we please get off this fucking thing now?” she asks quietly._

_“Let’s go,” Alex nods, moving down the aisle._

_“This is it,” Alex points to a dark SUV with tinted windows that rolls up at the pick up lane. She takes Tobin’s suitcase, “Get in,” she orders as she opens the back to store them._

_Tobin gets in, sliding across the backseat, her head snapping up when she hears a familiar voice._

_“Where ya headed?”_

_“Harry?” Tobin is incredulous, “what are you doing here?” She leans to her side to see Allie smiling at her from the passenger seat._

_“Tobs!” Bati bellows from the driver's seat, “good to see you!”_

_“Dude!” she replies, extending her fist for a knuckle punch._

_Tobin stares at Alex as she gets in and Bati pulls away, “Lex,” she whispers, her voice cracking._

_Alex smiles and holds her hand, squeezing it and turns forward, “Can we get some coffee?”_

_When they get to the hotel, Tobin stops in her tracks in the lobby when she sees Lauren Holiday standing up to greet them. Then A-Rod. Then Sinc, Becky and Zola. Her and Alex are greeting them all when she gets bumped and turns to see Hope Solo smiling at her._

_“Hey kid,” she says softly, “how ya doing?”_

_“Hope!” Tobin exclaims, hugging her tightly. Hope lifts her off the ground, laughing as she spins her around, her legs flailing out. She sets her down and gets her in a headlock, “Are you ready to tear this place up?” she laughs._

_Tobin and Hope had a most interesting relationship, Alex had learned. When Tobin had been called up, it was after the 2007 World Cup debacle and the team was still stinging from Hope’s comments about how she felt she should have played. Many players were trying to turn Tobin, Lauren and Amy against them even talking to the goalkeeper, but they didn't._

_Tobin and Hope would have many deep conversations about God, religion, relationships, and all sorts of topics. Her and Hope talked for many hours in the weeks after the 2016 Olympics, Tobin being as supportive as she could, speaking with honestly and kindly. They weren’t too social outside of soccer, but still kept in touch._

_Tobin laughs as Hope releases her, slinging an arm around Tobin’s shoulders, “You’re looking pretty cut,” she says, “how’s training going?”_

_They all chatter away for a few minutes in the lobby and then they check into their rooms, agreeing to meet downstairs and then head out._

_They end up doing touristy things, like going to the Space Needle, hanging around Chilhuly’s Gardens and walking through the Rock Museum that’s right there. They bar hop back towards Pike Market, ending up in a restaurant in a private room eating dinner. Tobin insists on paying for dinner, claiming that she wouldn’t be here doing this if it wasn’t for them over the years helping her._

_They do a bar crawl back to the hotel, Tobin and Bati amazed they can not find any Rumchata in any of the bars they stop in, wanting to do a shot so A-Rod can finally taste it._

_They end up on the rooftop lounge of their hotel, passing a joint and reminiscing about their friends they’ve lost and telling funny stories._

_As they say their goodnights and drunkenly all squeeze in the same elevator, Tobin thanks them again, claiming that this was one of the best days ever._

_Back in the room, Tobin and Alex prepare to go to bed._

_“You know,” Tobin says, swaying slightly as she opens her suitcase, “was it just me, or was tonight different?” she asks Alex, seeing her tilt her head at her. “You know, upstairs when we were talking about everyone and telling stories,” she says, shrugging, “I don’t know if it was the booze or the weed, but it felt different, ya know?”_

_Alex nods as she takes her shirt off, tossing it on top of her open suitcase, “Yeah,” she agrees, “like, not as awful or as super sad, you mean?”_

_“Exactly!” Tobin says loudly, pointing her finger at her, “Ssshhh!” Alex says, striding over and pressing her hand to Tobin’s mouth, “it’s late!”_

_Tobin licks one of her fingers._

_“Ew!” Alex cringes, wiping it on Tobin’s shirt, “gross!”_

_“Gross?” Tobin asks as she circles her arms around, “You don’t think it’s gross when this tongue is making you feel amazing do you?” She’s rubbing her hand along Alex’s side as she speaks._

_“Well,” Alex considers, feeling Tobin’s fingers now working her bra off her, “when you frame it that way,” she kisses her, “maybe it’s not so gross,”_

_“Maybe I should remind you how not gross it really is, huh?” Tobin whispers, her hands squeezing Alex’s ass, leaning in and kissing her passionately._

_“Yeah,” Alex breathes, “you definitely should,” she rasps._

_Blessed with a smooth flight back to Portland on Tuesday and Tobin was surprised by Allie, Bati, Lauren and Sinc joining them, Tobin did even better than the flight there. As they walked out of the familiar terminal, Tobin expressed how happy she was. She couldn’t wait to talk to Jo about how the flights went._

 

 

May 10, 2025 

 

“Look at her go!” Tobin laughs, watching as Allie’s daughter runs along the hallway of the office. “She’s gonna be fast.” She predicts, walking over to lift her up and carrying her back to Allie and Alex. She’s smothering her in kisses and the baby is laughing and squealing in her arms. 

“Let us know when you want another night out,” Alex offers, handing Allie the diaper bag, “she’s so much fun and sleeps great! It’s no trouble to watch her!” 

Allie nods, “Maybe next weekend if you have no plans,” she lifts the near two year old into her arms from Tobin. 

“I don’t think we do,” Tobin mumbles, “Lex?” 

Alex shakes her head, “You just have training, right? Don’t you have a long swim session coming up?” 

“I think so,” Tobin agrees, “but we can watch her.” 

“Oh, absolutely!” Alex smiles, leaning towards the infant, “bye sweetheart,” she kisses her cheek. 

“I really want one,” Alex says quietly as they watch them disappear around the corner. 

Tobin wraps her arms around her from behind, “I want to make an honest woman out of you,” she says, kissing her neck softly, “think of the shame if you got knocked up before we were married.” She jokes. “The scandal!” 

Alex chuckles as she sighs, “Next year,” she says, referencing the plan. After she retired they began to explore the possibilities of having a baby. Since Alex had a long career as an elite athlete, she hadn’t had her period for many years. The doctor recommended for her to wait at least eight months to a year to let her body adjust, before trying to avoid possible miscarriages. They had gone for a second opinion and heard the same recommendation. So, the plan was to start the process next year. 

“You’re gonna be an awesome Mom,” Tobin whispers in her ear, her head touching Alex’s cheek and she can feel her smiling. 

“So are you.” Alex says, turning to kiss her, “You ready to go?” She feels Tobin nod, “Yeah, let’s hit it.” 

As they head back to their place, Alex thinks about when Allie gave birth. 

 

_May 17, 2023_

_Allie looks tired and worn out, her eyes are sparkling. For a first pregnancy, her hard labor was only about six hours during which she tweeted and texted through. It kept Alex and Tobin in hysterics reading her messages._

_The next day, Allie demanded they visit as soon as they could._

_Allie was sitting in a chair, holding her daughter, Bati lounging proudly in another one._

_“I’d like you guys to meet our little one,” Allie says softly, handing the sleeping newborn to Tobin who holds her like a pro._

_“Hi sweetheart,” Tobin whispers, swaying back and forth gently, she looks up at them, “does she have a name yet? Or are you really flipping a coin to see who gets to name her?”_

_Alex is standing next to her, looking at the baby. Bati stands up and gestures for Tobin to sit down. Alex sits on the arm of the chair._

_Throughout the labor, Allie complained about Bati coming up with all sorts of last minute names they hadn’t discussed and telling her he should get to name the baby because his sperm did the work._

_Allie and Bati share a look and both smile at each other before looking at Alex and Tobin._

_“Guys,” Bati says proudly, “I’d like you meet Tobin Alexandra Batista.”_

_“What?” Tobin breathes, her mouth open and eyes wide incredulous. “Harry,” she whispers as the tears come to her eyes._

_“We wanted to name her after two amazing women. The two of you.” Allie states, her voice trembling, wiping tears away._

_“We also would like you to be her Godparents.” Bati announces, “I can’t think of two people I’d ever trust more if something were ever to happen,” he says. “You’ve become the sisters neither of us have ever had and to see all you’ve both gone through and rise above it all and be these amazing people, it would be our honor.”_

_“Oh,” Alex says, her voice raspy from emotion, “no, it would be our honor,”_

_The three look to Tobin who hasn’t spoken, she’s just staring at this tiny new human in her arms. Alex nudges her, “Huh?” she looks up, realizing they’re all looking at her._

_“They just asked us to be Godparents,” Alex informs her, rolling her eyes._

_“Yeah?” she looks at Bati and Allie, “Really?” They nod._

_“Totally,” she says, smiling at them and then looking back down at the child, “Yo, Tabby, I’m your Aunt Tobin, welcome to Portland. We’re all gonna show you how amazing this world is.”_

_“Tabby?” Allie questions, tilting her head._

_Tobin nods, “Yeah, T, A, B, her initials. Tabby.” She smiles at them, “It has a nice ring to it. Tabby Batista."_

_“It’ll never fly.” Alex teases, shaking her head._

_The nickname stuck. In fact, hardly anyone called her Tobin, even Allie and Bati’s families called her Tabby._

_“Calm down, Tabby,” Tobin soothes as she sits down to feed her, giving the three month old the bottle and the room becomes much quieter, “there,” she says, “you’re just like your Mother. You get hangry.”_

_“Harry!” Allie exclaims, “Stop lying to my child!” She complains while Tobin chuckles._

_It’s the first time Allie and Bati are letting the baby stay overnight so they can go to a wedding and have some time to themselves._

_“Tabby,” Tobin says, “tonight I’ll show you how to light matches.” She grins, knowing it’s pushing Allie’s buttons._

_“Knock it off, Harry,” Allie warns as she picks up her purse. Bati is laughs._

_“Let’s go, babe,” he says, taking her hand._

_“Call me,” Allie pleads. “Send me photos.”_

_“I will, I promise,” Tobin nods, seriously, “you guys have a blast, we’ll just chill here.”_

_After Alex gets back from practice, they do a photoshoot of the baby in all sorts of new outfits they had purchased for her, planning to do it so they could ease Allie’s separation anxiety. One outfit was cuter than the next, they had found some ridiculous t-shirts with hilarious sayings that would make Bati and Allie laugh._

_Lying in bed, Alex watches as Tobin stops by the bassinet and checks on Tabby once more before coming to bed. She giggles._

_“What?” Tobin inquires softly as she takes off her glasses and shuts the light off._

_“I was just thinking how adorable you were when Allie had her,” she replies, her voice amused._

_“You were pretty adorable, too if I remember correctly.” Tobin reminds her, lying on her back._

_“You,” Alex emphasizes the word, “cried on the way home,”_

_“Well, it was emotional!” Tobin exclaims quietly, so as not to wake the baby._

_“You cried telling your Mom!” Alex hisses with a giggle._

_“It’s kind of a big deal when someone names their kid after you!” Tobin retorts, beginning to giggle as well._

_“She named her after me, too!” Alex giggles, poking at Tobin side._

_“I don’t know,” Tobin says, drawing out the words as she contemplates, Alex can feel her shaking her head, “Alexandra is kind of a common name,”_

_Alex tickles her side. “Stop!” Tobin bursts, trying to stay quiet. Alex pulls on her hand and pulls her close to her._

_“I love you,” she says, kissing her lips softly._

_“I love you, Lex,” Tobin replies, kissing her again. Alex snuggles into her side, “You have to feed her tonight,”_

_“Of course,” Tobin replies easily, humor in her voice, “I’ll take care of my namesake.”_

_“Stop!” Alex giggles, slapping her arm. “Go to sleep!”_

_“Yes, dear,” Tobin sighs dramatically but ends with a giggle, “good night, babe.”_

 

 

_August, 2024_

_When Alex comes home from practice, she finds Tobin asleep in bed, resting from her own workout, Alex remembering today was a long bike ride. Today is pretty warm so she knows Tobin will be dragging for the rest of the night. She sets her gear bag in the laundry room, kicking off her slides and lying down on her side next to her._

_She studies Tobin’s face as she sleeps, thankful that her forehead is smooth, no longer carrying that deep crease of worry and anxiety that she carried for so many years. She sees her mouth twitch, her hips shifting and legs moving as she mumbles something she can’t understand._

_Alex leans forward and kisses Tobin’s lips before she snuggles in to her side. She feels Tobin shift and adjust to her body, brining an arm around to hold her. She lets out a deep sigh of contentment._

_“Hi, baby,” Tobin mumbles, her voice rough and edged with sleep._

_“Hi, sweetheart,” Alex says, sighing and moving her head closer to Tobin’s pillow, “how was your ride?”_

_“Hot,” Tobin frowns, “got a good time, though,”_

_“That’s good,” Alex replies, seeing Tobin crack an eye open to look at her closely. “What’s wrong?” she asks sleepily._

_Alex sighs, knowing she can’t hide anything from her, “I think I’m done,” she says quietly._

_“You’ve done what?” Tobin questions, confused._

_“I think I’m ready to retire.” Alex replies, her words slow and her voice soft._

_Both of Tobin’s eye shoot open, “Now?”_

_“No,” Alex answers, shaking her head against her pillow, “the end of the season.”_

_Tobin looks at her carefully, her lips curved upwards slightly as she reads the expression on Alex’s face. “How long have you known?”_

_“I started thinking about it right after the reunion,” Alex admits, “I think I want to bring back The Kicks books,”_

_“Oh, yeah?” Tobin smiles at her, “That would be cool.”_

_“Yeah,” she nods, “this time, they’d be targeted at the girls being in high school and college.”_

_“I think that would be really cool, you could really help some kids out there,” Tobin smiles back at her, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her._

_“Yeah, I want to talk about what we faced with club, high school, college stuff,” Alex continues, “I just think there’s a need for that out there right now.”_

_“I know you’ll present it in an awesome way,” Tobin grins, kissing her, “I’m proud of you.”_

_“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” Alex asks her, looking at her closely, “I mean, I’m still starting, I’m scoring, I’m assisting, I’m still effective.” Tobin is shaking her head at her._

_“You know your body and you know your heart and your head.” She says firmly, “If you’re not feeling it anymore, then it’s time. Nothing can change that.”_

_Alex sighs, “I love you.”_

_Tobin kisses her again, “I love you, too.”_

_They lie together, both with smiles on their faces, content._

 

 

_December 20, 2024_

_“Come on,” Alex orders, “on your feet,” she says as she helps Tobin out of the car. Their Uber drive grabs their backpacks and brings them to the covered porch, resting them next to their luggage. It’s raining heavily, soaking them as Alex tries to get Tobin moving. The sky is dark in the early afternoon, Alex had been hoping the earlier flight would have avoided the weather and situation they were in now._

_“Thanks so much,” Alex says, giving her a grateful look as they pass on the sidewalk, reminding herself to tip the woman generously._

_“No problem, Alex,” the driver replies cheerfully, “Merry Christmas!”_

_“Merry Christmas to you, too!” Alex smiles, shooting a hand out when Tobin staggers as she tries to finds her footing. “Let’s go,” she orders, tightening her grip on Tobin’s waist and holding on to her hand that’s slung over her shoulder._

_“Left, right, left, right,” she hears Tobin muttering as they walk up the sidewalk to the porch and front door._

_“Girls!” her Mom exclaims through the open door._

_“Hi, Mom,” Alex greets as she guides a semi-conscious Tobin through the door, Tobin looking up and giving her Mother a crooked grin, “Yo, Pammy, sup?”_

_“Hi, Tobin,” she replies with a smile, her eyes questioning Alex._

_“Hi sweetie,” her Dad calls out, coming down the hallway, his steps slowing as he sees Alex dragging Tobin in, “what’s going on?”_

_“Hey, Daddio!” Tobin greets loudly, extending her free hand for a hug. Mike gives her a one armed hug and kisses her forehead, “Hi, Tobin, it’s so good to see you,”_

_“You too, man,” Tobin smiles, her eyes glazed over, “Merry Christmas, dude.”_

_“Merry Christmas to you, too,” he says, looking expectantly at Alex._

_She takes another few steps with Tobin, edging towards the stairs, “We had turbulence nearly the whole flight,” she explains, “I gave her a Valium.”_

_“I’m fine,” Tobin insists, rolling her neck to look at Alex, “totally cool.”_

_“Yes, you are,” Alex nods at her, “now we’re gong to take a nap, okay?”_

_Tobin nods, her movements exaggerated, struggling to raise her head, “Nap,” she repeats, drawing out the word._

_“Here,” her Mom says, moving to Tobin’s other side and lifting her arm around shoulder, “let’s just go to the couch,”_

_“Dad,” Alex asks, “could you get our stuff from the porch?”_

_“Sure, sweetie,” he says, moving to the door._

_They get Tobin on the couch, Alex unzipping her rain jacket and helping her out of it. Tobin clumsily kicks off her shoes, looking at Alex apprehensively._

_“Come lay here,” Alex offers, patting the pillow her Mom gave her that’s now on her lap._

_Tobin lays down, her head resting on the pillow, her right hand on Alex’s knee. Pam Morgan covers Tobin with a blanket, rubbing her back for a moment and looking at her with such love and care and concern it makes Alex fight back tears. Tobin is out cold in a minute._

_Her Dad brings their bags in, silently carrying them up the stairs to Alex’s old room and then joins them in living room bringing each of them a glass of wine. Even though it was just after lunch, her Father had rightly sensed that Alex could use a drink to steady her nerves. She looked pretty frazzled. Her parents sit across from the couch on a loveseat._

_“It actually was a really bad flight,” Alex begins after taking a sip of her wine, “I mean, I was feeling pretty nauseous from it. We were bouncing all over the place.” She’s running her fingers through Tobin’s hair with her free hand. She looks down at her, seeing that crease on her forehead she gets from time to time when she’s had an episode or being over emotional._

_“She was so scared,” she whispers, sniffing and fighting back tears._

_It’s near dinner time when Alex wakes Tobin, knowing if she let her sleep longer, she wouldn’t sleep much during the night. She’s shaky and woozy and confused for a little bit, being awfully quiet during dinner, embarrassed by being so out of it._

_Pam and Mike draw her out, making her laugh and feel a bit better, reassuring her she has nothing to worry about. She chooses not to take anything before bed, opting to smoke some weed and chill out on the back deck for a little bit. Alex’s parents taunt her by toking up again with Tobin, teasing her about it. By the time they all turn in for the night, Tobin is feeling much better about everything._

_The holidays are wonderful, Alex’s sisters arriving with their families two days later and all of them enjoying their time together._

_Before they leave, Tobin and Alex have lunch with Cody and Stacy Press, catching up with them. As they are leaving the restaurant, Cody pulls Tobin aside._

_"Tobin," he says as they walk a short distance away from where Alex is speaking with Stacy, "I just want you to know, I think of you as my daughter," he says, his voice a little gruff from emotion._

_Tobin nods._

_"And I," he pauses, "Stacy and I, we want to still know what's going on in your life," he says, "we both love Alex, very much, and nothing makes us happier than the two of you being together."_

_"Thanks, Dad," Tobin says softly, "that means so much to me. To both of us."_

_He smiles at her, bringing an arm around her shoulders and slowly heading back to the others, "So, I want, no, I demand, a wedding invitation, okay?"_

_Tobin looks up at him and grins, "Yeah, sure,"_

_"We want to be there to celebrate a wonderful event for the two of you," He says, "And you have to invite Tyler and Channing, too."_

_"Okay," Tobin smiles as she bobs her head, "will do, Big Daddy."_

_"Good." he smiles, looking up at Stacy and giving her a grin and a nod. Stacy smiles back at Tobin, her eyes watering a little. They all exchange hugs and as Tobin and Alex wak towards their car, they hear Cody speak up._

_"Have a safe flight back and a Happy New Year! I think 2025 is gonna be amazing!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and kindness in your comments. I really appreciate them all. Hope you're enjoying this tale.


	4. Conflict and Dedications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the stadium dedications and Abby has made it her mission to get Tobin to join her lawsuit.

_Tuesday, May 29, 2023_

_Alex wakes alone in bed, looking for a note or text from Tobin telling her where she is. There’s none. She hears a noise from the bathroom, getting up and heading there, hearing Tobin vomiting on the other side of the closed door. She gives her a couple of minutes and then knocks._

_Tobin gives her a sickly smile as she brushes her teeth, spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing with mouthwash._

_“I’m a little nervous about today.” She admits, giving Alex a shrug as she wipes her face._

_“It’s going to be perfect.” Alex says, giving her a smile, “I know it will.”_

_After breakfast, Alex looks out the kitchen window as she does the few dishes, seeing Tobin walking around, holding a paper as she reviews her notes for the day. She sees her tilting her head every once in a while, her lips moving as she reads what’s she’s written, stopping momentarily to bend over and press the papers to her leg and write something down._

_When she comes in, she’s smiling at Alex, giving her a kiss and slapping her butt, telling her it’s time to get ready for their day._

_“When Christine Sinclair and I first came up with the idea for this complex, neither of us had any idea it would become what it is today.” Tobin states from podium she’s standing behind on the raised platform stage. The entire Press family sits on chairs to her right on the stage._

_“The first time I stepped on this pitch, it was a spring day and I was checking the new turf to see how it came through the winter. I was really worried about it and then I felt this overwhelming sense of calm that washed through me. A peacefulness that I hadn’t felt since before the accident. And I knew. I called it her place to myself for years before saying anything about it to anyone.”_

_She pauses and looks over at the Press group and then the family, players and coaches assembled for the reunion, “I don’t have to say what Christen meant to me, you all know.”  
She clears her throat, “And we all know that the greatest gift Christen brought to us, was a sense of calm. She had this way of anchoring, grounding, those she cared about. Listening and advising with a gentle manner and always being so kind. I loved her so much. We all did.” She pauses and looks out at the crowd. _

_“As you all know,” she begins, “Chris faced a lot of obstacles during her playing career. It took her a long time to find that meditation and yoga would be the pathway to her happiness, gaining understanding and acceptance from the benefits of those practices. I’m so pleased the Press family has chosen to support organizations that offer the opportunities for young athletes to learn those techniques to help them as they grow in the sport, as players and in their personal lives. I feel it will really make a positive, healthy impact on the lives of many young athletes.”_

_Tobin pauses a moment and looks to the Press family. “Big Daddy, Stacy, Tyler, Channing and the rest of you all, I’m so happy you agreed to allow me this small way of keeping Christen alive in our hearts. I hope that every time you visit here, you’ll feel the magic, her magic and her spirit, in this place.”_

_She leaves the podium as the Press’ stand to hug her._

_She comes back after a couple of minutes, wiping her eyes, sniffing a bit and giving everyone a quick smile. She takes a deep breath._

_“I’d like you all to witness and officially recognize, that from this day forth, these grounds shall be known as Peace Field, The Christen Press Memorial Stadium.”_

_Tobin turns and they all watch as the draping is lowered over the new metallic letters and logo of a shadow of a female in the lotus position. They begin to clap as it is revealed, tears in most everyone’s eyes._

_Tobin returns to the podium, “If you would all join us in the main hall,” she says, “we all know of Christen’s love for brunch, so what do you say we all enjoy this one in her name.”_

_She grins to the crowd assembled._

_Alex finds her as she steps off the last step of the platform, hugging her tightly._

_“You did great,” she whispers in her ear, rubbing her back._

_Tobin leans back to wipe her eyes and nod at her, “Thanks, I almost lost it a couple of times up there.”_

_“I couldn’t tell,” Alex says, kissing her cheek, “you did so well.”_

_They walk hand in hand towards the main hall, following the others. Alex jerks Tobin’s hand a little, “You wanna chill and then get your brunch on?”_

_Tobin nods, “Yeah,” she smiles, “I think I should.”_

_After brunch was completed, which included a highlight video of Christen’s life, complete with childhood photos provided by the Press family, YouTube videos and more, and they all had time to mingle and visit, HAO gets everyone’s attention to direct them to make their way to the second stadium._

_“This field is where I come to when I need to get my ass in gear.” Tobin states, looking over the group, “I come here and feel like it gives me the focus, determination and even the courage to go on.”_

_She pauses a moment, taking a sip from her water bottle._

_“Ashlyn Harris was one of my best friends. When I doubted myself, Ashlyn was there, cheering me on, encouraging me, helping to guide me, sometimes even kicking my ass when I needed it. She loved people, she loved helping others, she loved hard work. She knew what it meant to persevere. She lived it. She preached acceptance and kindness, she lived and breathed as her true self. We all know, she knew how to have a good time.” She pauses again, looking down at her notes, nodding to herself._

_“Ashlyn taught me it was okay for me to be myself. To feel the things I feel. To love who I loved. She taught me it was okay to be gay. She became a voice above the crowd, shouting from rooftops for equal rights, acceptance and the freedom for people to love who they want to love. She stood o the front lines, before it was cool do to so. She stood and gave a voice for those who didn’t have one.”_

_Tobin takes a deep breath, “Ashlyn,” she shakes her head, glancing over at her family, “when she loved, she loved hard. There was never any doubt how she felt about you and she expressed it.” She looks over at Ali and gives her small smile and nod, “She knew how to treat you like a princess,” she says, “and her spirit just flows out of this place. Don’t you feel it?” she asks the crowd, “It’s easy to hang out here and sometimes hear her laugh or see her shadow.” She pauses again. “Ashlyn Harris was one of my best friends and it humbles me that you have given me your blessing,” she nods to the Harris family, “to be able to offer this place up in her name. Guys,” she looks up and gives a slight smirk, “from this day forth, this place shall be known as the Shark Tank, The Ashlyn Harris Memorial Stadium.”_

_The banner comes down slowly revealing the black lettering with a shark outline. Cheers go up._

_“We all know Ashlyn was a foodie, steak and mac and cheese being her favorites. It’s only fitting that it’s dinner time, so let’s go back to the main hall and enjoy some of Ash’s favorites tonight.”_

_Dinner is over and Tobin steps away to get another round of drinks for the table she’s at with Lauren, Jrue, Alex, HAO and Dave, when she feels an arm sling over her shoulders._

_She looks to her left and sees Abby Wambach smiling at her._

_“Kid, we need to talk,” she says, leading her a few more steps towards the corner of the room, “listen,” she says, “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but my lawsuit against US Soccer is going to trial soon.”_

_Tobin nods, she’s heard the news. It was splashed across the TV and internet about a week ago._

_Abby moves and holds Tobin by the shoulders. “I want you to join the lawsuit.”_

_Tobin shakes her head, “I don’t think so, Abs,” she says quietly._

_“You should totally do it.” Abby says, her face flushed with excitement and the rush of booze, “You’ve got an iron clad case against them.”_

_Tobin just shakes her head again. She sees her table has noticed the exchange and is looking over with a mix of curiosity and concern._

_“What is it? We could totally destroy them for how they treated us,” Abby encourages her, “we could make bank on this, dude.”_

_Tobin looks at her, Abby’s squeezing her shoulders hard, “No.” she says firmly._

_Abby brings her hands to head, gripping it and letting out a frustrated groan, “Heath, what is it with you?”_

_“I’m not doing it Abby,” she states firmly, collecting herself to stand tall against the much taller woman._

_“Abby!” Alex greets, laying a hand on her forearm, “How are you?”_

_Abby looks at her, her face a mix of anger and frustration, “She doesn’t want to join my lawsuit.”_

_“Abs,” Tobin sighs, “it was different for me,” she tries to explain._

_“You’re just stupid!” Abby barks out loudly, causing a few heads to turn._

_Alex grabs her arm and shakes it to get her attention._

_“Abby, I love you,” Alex says, her voice low and firm, “but get this straight. There won’t be a pay out. You won’t win this case. Don’t you think the USSF knows about the doctor shopping, the drinking? You should be praying that this thing wouldn’t go to trial. What if they start pulling witnesses, huh?” Alex pokes at her chest._

_“Will I have to testify against you? Huh?” Alex asks heatedly, growing angry. “Will Coach Harvey testify about how you didn’t play for Seattle in 2015 because you were out of shape and couldn’t stay sober? Let it go. Leave Tobin alone. You can’t win this.” She finishes, breathing hard at the emotions._

_Abby just looks at her and then at Tobin._

_“You won’t do it, huh?” She asks Tobin, slurring her words a little. Alex sees Abby’s wife approaching._

_“No, Abby,” Tobin shakes her head, “I’m sorry, but I won’t do it.”_

_Abby scrunches her lips together, nodding as Tobin answers._

_The three are silent for a moment._

_“Fuck you, Tobin!” Abby suddenly yells, pushing her hard backwards, Tobin’s head smacking against the wall, followed by her back. “You stupid, fucking idiot!”_

_Alex pushes her away as Abby’s wife takes her arm, “Fuck you all!” Abby shouts as she leaves the room._

_Tobin has a hand against the wall, leaning forward to help hold her up and her other hand is clutching the back of her head._

_“You okay,” Alex asks, bringing her arm around her waist._

_Tobin nods, closing her eyes, taking a deep breath._

_Bati is suddenly next to them, looking angry and concerned, His hands at his sides, balled into fists. “You alright, Tobs,” he asks softly._

_“Yeah,” she sighs, looking up at him and glancing at Alex, “I just really wish that had gone differently.” She says quietly._

_They both nod, Lauren coming over with Allie and HAO.  
Tobin looks at her watch, “Uh, HAO?” she asks, “Will you tell everyone to start making their way to the third field, we should start soon before the sun goes down.” _

_“Sure thing, buddy,” HAO says, patting her back as she leaves._

_“I’m going to make sure she’s gone,” Lauren states and walks away._

_“What do you need, babe?” Alex asks, now rubbing Tobin’s back._

_Tobin stands straight, dropping her arm form the wall, she rubs at her temples. “Just some aspirin and a coke or something, I’ve got a little headache.”_

_“Okay,” Alex nods, taking her by the elbow, “let’s go.”_

_“Abby hasn’t learned from her past nor has she taken any responsibility for her actions.” Alex says as they walk from the back of the kitchen out a side door towards the third field._

_“I know,” Tobin agrees, “it’s just, you know how much I hate confrontation,” she sighs. “She has no clue how much they’ll tear her apart in a courtroom.”_

_“Yeah,” Alex agrees, “I know, and I also know how much of a bully Abby can be,” she adds quietly._

_Tobin squeezes her hand, “Let’s just forget about it, for now,” she smiles at her, “it’s over and the best part of the night is going to happen soon.”_

_“You ready for it?” Alex asks as they walk along the side of the stadium, just on the edge of the crowd._

_Tobin gives her a grin and wiggles her eyebrows at her, “Totally!” she laughs._

_Tobin greets the entire O’hara family, hugging them and chatting for a few minutes as they wait for everyone to assemble. Then she moves to the podium._

_“Kelley. Maureen. O’Hara.” Tobin says into the microphone, a smile crossing her face. She looks up at the sky, “God, I miss you.”_

_“I guess the Irish is going to come out from me,” she says, looking over at the O’Hara’s and giving them a grin, “’cause I might get a little emotional.”_

_“Kelley is responsible for two things: one, making me piss my pants as an adult and two, preventing me from almost getting arrested.”_

_“Tobin Powell Heath!” her Mother yells out, causing laughter to spread across the group._

_“I said almost, Mom,” Tobin smiles. “We were driving back from the airport after getting back from who knows what country, jetlagged and slap happy when I got pulled over. Apparently, it’s not cool to have a license plate from California on the front of your car and one from Oregon on back?” she shrugs._

_“Anyway, this officer wasn’t amused at our attempts to be serious and was ready to haul me in over such a stupid thing, that’s when Kelley caught her second wind and made this impassioned speech about how we were representing our country, serving for the greater athletic good and being victorious against our enemies.” Tobin shakes her head, “I don’t know how, but it worked. We posed for pictures on the side of the road with the cop and he sent us on our way, with a warning to me to take the Cali plate off as soon as possible.”_

_She laughs. “I had to pull over because we were laughing so hard on the drive back.”_

_“As for the other story,” she shrugs, “find me later.” The crowd laughs._

_“As the Irish say, they broke the mold when God made Kelley. I’ve never met anyone who could be so hilarious, so kind, so intuitive and so damn smart. The things that woman would know about. Like, seriously, completely know about. Once, during a month long pre-Olympic camp, Kelley ‘borrowed’ the text book from one of our teammates still in college, read it and found an online exam to take and got a ninety-eight percent. In chemistry. That she hadn’t studied for years.” She shakes her head._

_“Her brilliant mind was on display for everyone to see when she became a defender, learning and eventually owning the left back spot. To be an attacker and become an outstanding defender. Her attacking defender mindset came at a pivotal moment years ago against Germany.”_

_The group begins to holler and clap, Tobin nodding and smiling. “She saved our asses back then.”_

_“She was a fiercely loyal friend, who called you out on being stupid but did it with such humor, such grace, you could never be mad at her. She would support you during difficult times, by letting you know she was thinking of you, often by sending you the most hideous floral arrangements anyone could ever create with the most hilarious messages ever.”_

_Tobin pauses and wipes her eyes. “She asked the big questions of life, and I’m so lucky to have been by her side as we grew up and learned some of those answers together.”_

_“To the O’Hara Family,” her voice begins to waver, “thank you so much for this honor of being able to have this place for all of us remember her, it means so much.”_

_Tobin scans the crowd, realizing there isn’t a dry eye amongst them. “As you’ll see in a few minutes, this spot gets the best sunsets, Kel, just like the ones we would watch on our surfboards, me, you and Ash.”_

_She looks up to sky, her voice breaking, “I love you, man, and I miss you so much.”_

_She sniffs and lets out a sigh, “I’m sure Kelley is up there laughing her ass off at how weepy I am,” she clears her throat and takes a deep breath._

_“So, from this day forth, these hallowed grounds shall be known as The Squirrel’s Nest, The Kelley O’Hara Memorial Stadium.”_

_Tobin walks over to Kelley’s dad, Dan, who hugs her as they watch the banner lower, revealing her name and the silhouette of a squirrel holding a nut._

_Tobin receives hugs and kisses from all of Kelley’s family, then makes her way back to the microphone._

_“Now, all this talk of Kelley is making me a bit thirsty,” she says as she wipes her eyes, yet again, “so, what do you say we go onto the pitch, enjoy a beautiful sunset and lift some pints in her memory.”_

_“That was amazing,” Alex cries, lunging into Tobin’s arms, sobbing hard. Tobin cries with her as her both of their families make their way to them. The mixed group of Heaths and Morgans share their grief and tears, letting out the emotions held in all day from the three dedications. Alex and Tobin find themselves comforting their families for the tragedy they themselves experienced. It was very healing to both of them._

_As the group walks into the stadium and towards the pitch, Perry insists Tobin tell the tale of how Kelley made her piss her pants and it has them howling with laughter as they meet the rest of the group._

_They go their separate ways to get drinks and mingle, finding places to sit at the tables and chairs set up on the pitch. The sun is setting, sending an array of colors, swirled across the sky. Tobin stands off to the side, looking up at it as Alex approaches and hands her a beer._

_Alex watches the sun dip below the horizon, the colors turning more vivid until fading into dusk. Tobin slides her arm around Alex’s waist. She raises her beer bottle, “To Kelley,”  
she says quietly as Tobin clinks her beer against hers and raises her own, “To Kelley.” _

_It’s much later and the evening is still going strong, little lights twinkling on the tables, the perimeter of the stadium lit, casting cool shadows, displaying the set of banners of their teammates and coaches, Kelley’s being larger._

_Alex and Ali are chatting with Kling and Becky, discussing who they think will win the Shield this season when all heads turn to look. Tobin is driving a modified track cart, blinking the lights and beeping the horn as she pulls into the middle of the group, narrowly avoiding striking a table._

_She climbs onto the hood of the cart. “Hey everyone!” she shouts, “It’s time to do a shot for Kelley!”_

_“Come on over here and grab one and wait for the toast.” There are bottles filling the back of the wagon, along with plastic shot glasses and a cooler. Immediately it’s swarmed by people who begin pouring and passing out the shots. Christie and Sinc notice the labels have been removed from the bottles._

_Ali sidles next to Tobin who is sitting on the hood of the wagon, holding her shot. She takes a sniff, “Is this what I think it is?” She asks quietly._

_Tobin turns and gives her a cheesy, toothy grin and a nod. “Yep.”_

_Ali gives her a one-armed hug, “You evil genius!” she exclaims, kissing her on the cheek._

_A microphone is passed to Tobin who stands up again on the hood, making Alex nervous as she sways._

_“Does everyone have one?” Tobin asks, hearing the affirmative._

_“Sweet!” she exclaims, “Now, when Kelley and I turned twenty one, this became Kelley’s favorite party shot to share with new friends. She always said, they’ll never forget her after having one.” She raises her shot to the sky, “Kelley, please know, that nobody here will ever, ever forget you, man.”_

_“A toast,” Tobin laughs, “actually, this is Kelley’s favorite toast for this shot: Sometimes, you just need to kick your mouth in the balls. Cheers, motherfuckers!”_

_Moans, curses and yelling follow as the horrid taste of Malort blossoms and grows in everyone’s mouths for the next twenty minutes._

_“You brilliant motherfucker!” Jerry O’hara, Kelley’s brothers shouts, tackling Tobin to the ground, hugging her and rolling them around. Alex and Kelley’s sister Erin help them up, both a little wobbly._

_“Thank you so much,” Erin says, hugging Tobin tightly, “you were such a great friend to her. She always said you were her best friend, ever.”_

_“I miss her,” Tobin sniffs, “so much.” Karen, Kelley’s Mom joins them, “I swear I could hear her laughing as we took that shot, Tobin.” She says, pulling Erin away and hugging her, “This was perfect, just perfect. Thank you so much.”_

_Kelley’s father wrapped up Tobin from behind, lifting her off the ground, “This was just what we needed, kiddo,” he said, planting a wet, beer flavored kiss on her cheek before setting her on her feet and walking away._

_Karen hugged her again, Pam Morgan coming and walking with her to a table to sit with Cindy Heath and the others._

_“Something is growing on my tongue,” Alex complains, frowning and making horrible faces at Tobin. “You could have warned me.”_

_“What, and ruined the surprise?” Tobin laughs, her eyes dancing in the glow of the small table lights. “You really should have known this was coming.” She chides, “I mean, how could we not do that as a send off?”_

_“True,” Alex frowns, opening her moth, sticking her tongue out and inhaling deeply. “It feels like something is moving on my tongue.” She whines._

_“There’s milk in the cooler in the back of the wagon.” Tobin informs her. “It helps.” Alex pushes her aside as she lunges towards the wagon._

_“That was just as nasty as the first time,” Lauren says, grinning and slinging an around Tobin. She shakes her head, “That was just, so, Kelley.”_

_Tobin gives her a sad smile, “Yeah,” she clears her throat, “it just seemed right.”_

_Julie Foudy approaches, flicking Tobin in the forehead. “Ouch!” she whines, rubbing the spot._

_“Jackass!” Julie hisses, smirking at her, “well played, kid.” She walks off._

_“Tobin Powell Heath!” Her Mother’s angry voice rings out, “What in the name of our dear Lord and Savior did you just make me drink?” she demands, stopping front of her, hip cocked to the side, arms crossed, looking at her expectantly. Tobin can hear Foudy’s laughter loud and clear above the noise._

_“Uh, it’s was Kelley’s?” Tobin tries, unable to suppress her grin. “I didn’t know?”_

_Dan O’Hara lets out a hearty laugh, slapping Tobin on the back, “Nice try, kiddo!” he bellows as he passes by._

_Alex comes back balancing two gallons of chocolate milk and a sleeve of cups, setting them on the nearest table._

_“Ooohh!” Lauren exclaims, “She’s got the cure!” she opens one of the gallons, fumbling to quickly remove the cups from the sleeve._

_Alex pours out two cups, handing them to Cindy and her own Mom, “Here,” she offers, “it really helps.”_

_Alex pours one for herself, then offers the cup to Tobin, "You want some?" she asks._

_"Nah," Tobin shakes her head, "I'm going to savor this."_

_A-Rod, Lauren, HAO, Ali and Alex cautiously approach Tobin’s still form lying on the pitch under the moonlight._

_“Is she passed out?” A-Rod wonders._

_“Are we going to have to carry her back?” HAO asks Alex, who shrugs. Alex is a little buzzed and had lost track if Tobin had been drinking a lot. Tobin doesn’t drink very often, not with her history, she’ll have a few beers every once in a while, but isn’t one to get drunk anymore. Maybe tonight was different._

_It’s very late and they’re just about the only ones left in the stadium, the cleanup crew picking up cups and putting away the tables and chairs._

_Lauren pokes at Tobin’s side softly with her toe, “Tobs?”_

_Tobin opens her eyes, “I’m awake,” she says, sounding perfectly sober._

_“It’s really late and your girl here is drunk and ready for bed,” HAO informs her. Alex is cuddled into HAO’s shoulder, leaning against her._

_Tobin smiles and lifts her arms up, Ali and A-Rod each grabbing one and pulling her up. Tobin slings her arms around each of them as they begin to walk out, squeezing them tight against her for a moment, “What a day, huh?” she comments._

_“What a day,” Lauren smiles._

_They walk in silence for a moment until Ali breaks it._

_“Tobin,” she asks, “do you still have the beer bottle?”_

_“What beer bottle?” Tobin cocks her head at her, confused._

_“I had a dream last night. Ashlyn was talking to me and she told me how she came and drank a beer with you. She said you kept the bottle.” Ali shares. “Was that just a dream or did that really happen?” Ali asks urgently._

_“I, wha,” Tobin breathes, as far as she knows, only Alex knew about that and Alex is looking at her with wide eyes in surprise._

_“Yeah,” she replies, “I still have it.”_

_Ali sniffs, “That’s awesome.” She says quietly._

_“I could have sworn I smelled Christen’s perfume during the dedication,” A-Rod states, looking around at them._

_“They were here,” Tobin states, “all of them were with us today.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and kind comments. I'm happy you guys have spent a little of your time humoring me with this. 
> 
>  
> 
> Next chapter wraps it all up with a little bow. 
> 
> Oh, and if anyone ever offers you a shot of Malort- don't do it. It is evil. Like the Devil's ass evil. 
> 
>  
> 
> Tell me what you're thinking- 
> 
>  
> 
> MT


	5. Celebrating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Abby come to a head with Tobin. Alex plays her final match as a Thorn. Tobin's idea about playing those fantasy team matches come to life. A surprise awaits Alex at the end of the night.

_July 1, 2023_

_Abby was still persistent, still calling, to the point where neither Alex nor Tobin or other former teammates pick up her calls anymore. Abby’s been doing the talk show circuit, trying to get anyone to listen about how she will be vindicated. What sucks is she keeps bringing Tobin’s name into the story, resulting in her getting calls about it from reporters._

_After two weeks of Abby calling her every day and hounding her, Tobin finally had her publicist put out a statement that that Tobin had written herself, stating she was not interested in joining the lawsuit. She succinctly stated that Abby Wambach does not have the right to speak on her behalf, regarding this or any other topics. If Abby was to continue mentioning her name being involved with the lawsuit, she would resort to legal action of her own against her for libel and slander. She wrote that she will not speak publicly about the lawsuit nor is willing to accept any interviews regarding it at this time._

_Abby continued her talk show appearances, dancing around the subject and being coy about it, but not speaking her name anymore. Tobin was grateful, hoping that would be the end of it._

 

_September 21, 2024_

_Tobin watches from the skybox as Alex is slowly leaving the pitch as her sub waits patiently on the sideline. It’s the last home match for the Thorns, who have failed to make the playoffs for the first time in four years._

_Alex goes down to one knee, unlacing her boot as her teammates begin to huddle around her. She kicks off her second boot, standing to hug her teammates as the ref respectfully nods and smiles, gesturing playfully at giving her a yellow card for delay of game. Alex has known the woman for years, being a head referee over many of her matches. The woman recognizes the significance of the moment. They all laugh as the ref laughs and walks away, glancing at her watch to add minutes to the match. Alex had told Tobin she would speak with the ref to let her know, opting to tell the team yesterday after practice. Mark and Nadine knew, her and Tobin had them over for dinner during the week and she broke the news._

_Alex begins her walk off the pitch, stopping for a moment to look up where Tobin is in the box, using her fingers to make a heart symbol, before continuing on. Tobin responds with the same gesture and a large smile to her._

_The crowd goes wild upon realizing what was occurring, chanting Alex’s name as she slowly leaves the pitch, dropping her boots to the ground, pulling at the crest on her jersey, kissing it and waving to the fans in the stadium. She hugs her teammates who slowly trots out on the field. The players on Seattle stop her for hugs, realizing this is her last match._

_She’s all smiles as Mark hugs her, Nadine hugs her and the various other coaches and trainers come up to her._

_Smiling, she high fives the other subs as she is handed a pinnie and a water bottle and sits for the last few minutes of the match._

_Tobin wipes away the tears from her eyes, Allie giving her a side hug as she wipes her eyes as well. When the final whistle blows, the group of former Thorns and Alex’s and Tobin’s family in the box make their way down to the field._

_Hours later, Tobin holds Alex close in bed, sweetly kissing her, then reaching over to the nightstand, coming back and handing the flute to her, Alex going up on one elbow as she holds her champagne. Tobin has a glass as well._

_“I’m so proud of you, Lex,” Tobin says softly in the dim room, “you left that pitch like a rock star.”_

_“Do you wish you had a moment like that?” Alex questions, taking a sip, knowing Tobin just walked away in the off season, never having a moment of fanfare, just quietly fading away from soccer._

_Tobin shrugs, “A small part of me does,” she admits, leaning her head against her hand, “but I can’t go back and change it and I was far from being able to handle what you did tonight back then. I was such a mess.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Alex says quietly, casting her eyes down, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”_

_“It’s okay,” Tobin says, leaning to kiss her soft lips, “I’m over it. I doesn’t really bother me, I swear.”_

_Alex nods, then finishes her champagne quickly, gulping down the last of the liquid. “I’m done talking,” she says, smirking at Tobin, “you gonna finish that?”_

_Tobin nods, amused, finishing her drink slowly, teasing her. Alex takes the glass out of her hand, setting both of them down on the nightstand, sliding herself over so she’s lying on top of Tobin. She brings her hand to Tobin’s jaw, her fingers lightly holding it as she dips in to kiss her deeply._

_Tobin responds, parting her lips to accept Alex’s insistent tongue, using her own to twist along with hers, reveling in the feeling. Tobin moves her hands to lightly run her fingertips along Alex’s back, gliding over the smooth skin. She feels Alex’s hand leave her jaw, fingers tracing the scars on her neck, her shoulder and then her chest, Alex shifting her weight and pressing her leg down, Tobin spreading her legs apart to accept the muscular thigh pressed against her core. They move in a slow rhythm, hips moving together, a dance they’ve done for years, each time only getter better than the last._

_Tobin’s wet, full well knowing when Alex starts like this, she’s going to tease her and play with her until she’s begging for release. She pushes her hips, riding up Alex’s firm thigh, breathing out a soft moan, her fingers sliding down and gripping Alex’s ass, squeezing her tightly, guiding her closer to herself, forcing more pressure on her core._

_Alex releases a moan against Tobin’s chest, feeling her own core ignite from this deeper pressure. She palms Tobin’s breast, fingers softly massaging it as she drags her tongue over Tobin’s skin. She moves her head and uses the tip of her tongue to lightly follow the indent on Tobin’s chest separating her pec muscles, much more pronounced from her triathlon training._

_Tobin’s whole body is more defined, so lean yet so powerful, so beautiful to Alex. It usually takes all she can muster to not attack a sweaty Tobin after a workout, her muscles popping and glistening from the moisture covering her body._

_Alex moans again, her head going lower to suckle Tobin’s breast, her tongue swirling around her nipple, her teeth biting at it, pulling it, making Tobin moan. She feels one of her hands leave her ass, resting lightly on the back of her head, holding her there as she feeds on her._

_“Oh, Lex,” Tobin moans, “that feels so good,” she husks, spreading her legs apart further, her hips rising higher, arching her back. Tobin loves the feel of Alex’s long, silky hair spread out across her naked body, she runs her fingers through it, fanning it out and letting it fall._

_Alex shifts across Tobin’s chest, licking around her areola, then her nipple, feeling it harden under her touch. She circles her fingers on Tobin’s abdominals, her nails lightly raking across them, going lower through her soft hair, down to the heat and wetness._

_Tobin moans louder at her touch as Alex swipes through her core, then her fingers slowly circling her clit. Alex continues to inch her body down, her lips brushing along Tobin’s stomach, licking at her as she descends to finally taste her._

_Tobin’s body flinches, she’s gasping as Alex’s tongue as it flicks over her, then sucks hard on her clit, letting her teeth rake over it, her tongue swirl around it. Tobin’s panting, a moan escaping with each jerk of her hips, her hands moving to brush through Alex’s hair._

_Alex then circles around Tobin’s opening with two fingers, setting a lazy pace against Tobin’s movements, glancing up when Tobin’s hands rapidly leave, seeing her gripping the sheets, panting with her mouth open, her breaths leaving her mouth in huffs, her eyes tightly shut._

_Determined to unravel her, Alex inserts her fingers into her, loving how Tobin stops moving to accept them, hesitating a moment before slowly relaxing back into the mattress. Alex looks up, her mouth abandoning her for a moment, then looking down as she slowly fucks Tobin with her fingers, pushing them in as deep as she can. Alex leans forward,  
lying on Tobin, taking one of her breasts in her mouth, slowly sucking on it as she fucks her. _

_She shifts to drag herself onto Tobin’s thigh, rutting against it, moaning as she pulls on Tobin’s nipple with her teeth._

_“Aaahh,” Tobin lets out a high-pitched moan, “Oh, Lex,” she cries, “faster!” she urges._

_Alex thrusts her fingers into her harder, faster, now beginning to curl them as she pulls out each time. Tobin emits soft moans with each exhale she takes, Alex, working herself up on Tobin’s thigh. She abandons Tobin’s breast, moving quickly down to lap at her clit, sending Tobin’s back off the mattress as her climax begins to consume her._

_Tobin feels her feet tingling, the sensation moving up her legs, as the heat of her center explodes when Alex sucks on her clit and curls her fingers inside her, finding that spot that makes Tobin issue a prolonged cry as she jerks her hips, then freezes as her climax washes over her. Her head is bent to her chest, knees bent, feet off the mattress as she convulses in ecstasy._

_“Lex!” Tobin cries out, a string of indecipherable words and noise coming from her mouth as her chest heaves, her eyes water._

_Alex slows her movements, removing her mouth from Tobin’s clit, loving to watch as Tobin comes down from her climax. She sees Tobin, head back on the pillow, panting as she catches her breath, her fingers now splayed open, no longer gripping the sheets, her shaking legs clumsily moving down to the mattress._

_Alex slowly removes her fingers from within Tobin, kneeling up and crawling to the edge of the bed to grab a napkin from the chocolate covered strawberries they enjoyed earlier. She wipes her hand, noticing how her index and middle fingertips are wrinkled, smirking a little as she folds the napkin and wipes her face and tosses it on the nightstand._

_She’s feeling satisfied with herself, loving that she made Tobin a complete mess, her chest filling with warmth and love for the woman next to her._

_She lies next to her, resting her head on Tobin’s bicep, her arms being still out to her sides. She nudges Tobin’s leg, pushing it so it’s not spread as much, hooking her own leg over it and bringing her arm to rest on Tobin’s stomach, her hand between her breasts._

_“You’re amazing,” Tobin murmurs, a smile playing at her lips, her eyes only opening halfway, spent._

_“I love you,” Alex says, leaning forward as Tobin turns her head so their lips meet._

_“I love you, too,” Tobin smiles, her eyes glistening._

_“Go to sleep,” Alex hums, settling her head back on Tobin’s arm, moving her hand to cup her breast. They lie there, letting the sweat dry off their skin, Alex hearing Tobin’s breathing smooth out and the soft breaths coming from her partly open mouth, knowing she is dead asleep._

_Chilled, Alex leans back and pulls the comforter up to cover them. She resumes her position against and on Tobin and closing her eyes. Sleep comes quickly._

 

Friday, May 30, 2025 

 

“And now, your line up for the Best Of The NWSL!” Karina LeBlanc announces from near the scorer’s table. “In goal today, Lydia Williams, your defense: Merritt Mathias, Kristie Mewis, Katherine Reynolds, and Emily Sonnett!” The cheers echo in the filled to capacity Peace Field, “In the midfield, Yael Averbuch, Jess Fishlock, Joanna Lohman and Allie Long!” Loud cheers rumble. “Your forwards today are the dangerous duo of Crystal Dunn and Jess McDonald!” 

KK looks up, waiting for the noise level to lower. 

“Aaaannnnndddd now!” she bellows, “Your starting line up for the 2015 World Cup Champions!” The crowd goes into a tizzy, “In goal, Hope Solo! The Department of Defense: Julie Ertz, Meghan Klingenberg, Becky Sauerbrunn and Ali Krieger!” With that, the crowd gets even louder. 

“The Midfield of Magic,” KK continues, “features Morgan Brian, Heather O’Reilly,” the crowd noise grows even louder, “Lauren Holiday aaaaannnnnndddd Tobin Heath!” 

The noise was deafening. KK pauses as she smiles wildly at the camera, “Your star forwards, Amy Rodriguez and Alex Morgan!” 

This is the second match of the day, the first being the 1999 World Cup Champions against the Best of Canada. Then they had a short skills competition and now Tobin and her team are playing. 

The walk out and the anthem goes by in a blink of an eye, Tobin coming back into focus as they bow their heads in a moment of silence to remember the players who are no longer with them. 

When it’s over, Julie lays a hand on Tobin’s back giving her a smile and Tobin smiles back as they walk to their huddle. Alex finds her, slinging an arm around her as they lean in to listen to their coach for the day. 

“Girls,” Pia begins, “I don’t have to say much,” she smiles at them, “I love you all. Now, have some fun and kick their asses! Show them how champions play!” They all give a yell at that. 

“Now,” Becky looks them over, “2015 on three!” They put their hands in and do their cheer and break the huddle. 

“You better feed me some decent balls, Heath,” Alex smirks at her as they walk to their positions, “don’t make me work too hard.” She grins. 

Tobin laughs, “We’ll see,” she nods to Jess Fishlock, “this one might prevent me from getting anything off my foot.” 

Jess laughs, “Yeah, right!” she exclaims, “you’re probably the most fit on the pitch, Ms. Triathlete.” 

The whistle blows. 

Tobin gets a touch in the second minute, moving the ball down the flank, looking up to see Alex moving forward against the defense. 

“Ha!” Jess yells out, converging on her. “Ha!” Tobin exclaims as she nutmegs her, hearing her curse as she runs past her, slotting a perfect ball that skims across the pitch to Alex’s left foot. Alex speeds up, her first touch nutmegging her defender as she nears the goal, ending up awkwardly toe poking the ball into the net as Williams dives to the ground. 

Alex runs directly with her arms out in her signature celebration pose to Tobin, taking her in her arms, kissing her on the lips as she spins her around. 

“Yo, Ref!” Emily Sonnett bellows, “that kissing has got to be a card or something!” she laughs. She’s one of the players that has a microphone and an ear piece attached for the match. She can comment and hear the broadcast commentators as well. 

The ref approaches, wearing a microphone as well, gesturing to them, she looks at Emily and then Alex firmly, Tobin standing next to her. “No tongue.” She says firmly, pointing a finger at her and smirking. 

Tobin bursts out laughing, Emily slapping her arm. 

Up in the announcing booth, Lori Lindsey laughs, “Well, it appears that Head Referee Saunders has set the tone for the match early!” she exclaims. 

The game goes back and forth with the NWSL threatening with a series of quick passes that send Jess McDonald forward, ending towards the goal until Ali Krieger slides out from nowhere, scooping the ball from her feet. The crowd roars. 

Kling clears it to Morgan Brian who finds HAO open on the outside flank, HAO carries the ball forward, edging towards the box and lofting the ball towards A-Rod. A-Rod fires one off, hitting the crossbar, bouncing down and Merritt Mathias back heels out, only to the foot of Lauren Holiday who rockets the ball into the back of the net from the eighteen. 

It’s ten minutes into the match and Tobin has been creating chances for Alex, A-Rod and anyone lese near the goal. 

“She looks like she’s never left the pitch,” Aly Wagner comments, her voice soft and full of wonder. 

“Yeah, tell me about it!” Emily breaks in, breathing hard. “She’s ridiculous!” 

Tobin corrals a pass from Kling, heading down the field, Allie trying to stop her, “Harry,” she says, “not gonna happen,” she’s wearing a sound unit as well.

Tobin shakes her head, Emily comes up to double team her, pressing her towards the sideline, Tobin looks up. She grins at them, flicking the ball over her head, then backheeling it firmly ten yards away to Lauren Holiday, who chests it down, passes it A-Rod who scores. 

The crowd goes wild. 

“A New Kids Goal!” KK laughs, “Heath to Holiday to Rodriguez!” 

“Did she just do that?” Leslie Osbourne laughs, “I can’t believe it!” 

“You’re insane!” Becky shouts at her, she’s has a mic on as well, shaking her head as they get back in position. 

They earn a corner kick, HAO taking it this time. She sends one in, bouncing by Morgan Brian, kicked towards goal by A-Rod, bur rebounding off Williams, NWSL players raising their hands for a call against Brian, the ball cleared out, then stripped by Lauren who passes it to Tobin. 

There’s no whistle yet, so Tobin takes a shot, a screamer that bends into the upper ninety, Williams not even moving for it, screened by the bodies in front of her. 

The stadium fills with cheers, Tobin dropping to her knees, pumping her fists and throwing her head back. Alex slides into her side, wrapping her arms around her waist. 

Emily and other NWSL players are arguing with the ref, pointing to Morgan and indicating a hand ball. Morgan points to herself and replies to the ref and suddenly the entire group around her is laughing, some dropping to their knees in hysterics. The ref stalks back to the centerline, laughing and shaking her head. 

“Emily, what happened?” Leslie inquires, but all they hear is laughter. It’s only fifteen minutes into the match and a water break is called. They’re playing thirty minute halves for the match tonight with unlimited subs. 

“She,” Emily laughs, “she points to Morgan for the handball and Morgan,” she giggles, “Morgan just points to herself and says ‘Me?’” she can’t stop laughing, “and then she raises her stumpy arm and just gives the ref a look and says ‘Handball? Really?’” 

Lori snorts a burst of laughter, smothering it as fast as she can. 

They resume play with Allie eyeballing Tobin, “Harry, I’m coming to getcha!” 

“Okay, Har,” Tobin laughs, “whatever,” she waves at her. 

When Tobin gets a pass, Allie is right there, “Brace yourself, Har,” she says, giving Tobin a moment before jumping on her back to slow her down. 

Emily runs up, giggling, “Gotcha now!” she exclaims. Tobin just looks past her, still carrying Allie, who is trying to cover her eyes, her eyes moving to the right, making Emily anticipate her next move. Emily shifts her weight right, Tobin pulls an elastico, moving past her still carrying Allie on her back and sending a cross to Alex who easily redirects the ball into the goal. 

Tobin sets down Allie, grinning at her stupidly, then dabbing in her face as her team tears her away to hug her. 

Allie puts her hands on her hips, shaking her head, cursing and laughing as she slowly walks back to her position. 

“Hey, Sonnett!” Lori calls out from the booth, “What do you have to say for yourself?” she questions. 

All that can be heard is a string of beeps blocking out her voice.

Things begin to get silly, with Yael and Allie wrapping up Ali and Kling in bear hugs while their team threatens in the box. A shot gets off, but it’s caught by Hope who only wags her fingers at them menacingly as she walks over to take the goal kick. 

During halftime, Aly Wagner, Lori and Leslie discuss the notable absence of Abby Wambach and how she is currently serving a ninety-day prison term for her fourth DUI. They also discuss how her lawsuit had been suddenly withdrawn by her lawyers two months ago before the subpoenas were to be issued to her former teammates.  
With under ten minutes left to play, Janine Van Wyk, Megan Oyster and Steph Cately run onto the pitch for the NWSL. A cheer goes up for them, although they weren’t whistled on and nobody is leaving the pitch. They spread out in the eighteen yard box, crossing their arms as they wait for the ball to come near. 

“I think the NWSL feels a little bit like the Washington Generals playing the Harlem Globetrotters.” Leslie comments, watching as Whitney Engen, Lori Chalupny and Christie Rampone enter the pitch and settle themselves in front of Hope. 

The crowd goes wild as Carli Lloyd calmly walks out, carrying two water bottles and two lawn chairs, handing one to Hope and they sit inside the goal. With that, both benches empty with all of players now on the field. 

In the last minutes of play, Kling bombs a long ball to Tobin who is now covered by three defenders. She dances around them, waiting for help, poking and prodding, trying to get something going, deeking left and right, trying to throw them off her. 

Nothing is working, so she backs off, separating herself from them, creating a small space, popping the ball up and heads it over them. Lauren scoops it up and the play gets broken up to much applause for the effort. 

“That’s it!” Emily can be heard saying exasperatedly, “I’ve had enough!” She’s gesturing to Fishlock and Averbuch, they grab Tobin’s arms, wrestling her to the ground. All three of them pile on Tobin as she lies on her stomach, laughing and squirming as Yael tickles her side. 

The final whistle is blown and the crowd erupts in cheers. The girls haul Tobin up, brushing her off and each hugging her as the walk to the center of the pitch. They swarm together, all smiles and laughs. 

The crowd cheers again as the 2015 Canadian team makes their way to the pitch as well as the 99ers. They mingle for a bit before heading to the sideline to walk the perimeter of the pitch, waving and thanking the fans. After their lap, they head towards the rails to sign and take photos. 

Julie Foudy grabs Tobin for an interview. 

“Tobin,” she says, her arm around her shoulders, “it was a night just like this two years ago when you pulled me out onto this very pitch and you told me about your idea for this event.” She says, shaking her head, “This has been absolutely amazing. I’m gonna be sore as heck tomorrow, but it will be so worth it!” she grins. “Did you think this event would become as big as it did, in it’s first year?” 

Tobin shrugs, “Yeah, well, being as it’s the tenth anniversary of winning the World Cup, I knew it would generate some interest,” she says, “but to have so much support from everyone and so many people, like you, offering to help out behind the scenes, it’s been amazing.” 

“There you are!” Christine Sinclair shouts, putting Tobin in a headlock and then pushing her softly into Alex, who puts her arm around Tobin’s waist, “Tobin, you’re a Rockstar!” Sinc exclaims, then turns to Julie, “I’m glad we didn’t play against her!” She laughs, Julie joining her. 

“You’re right about that, Christine,” Julie says. 

“Can Lori hear me?” Tobin asks, looking at Julie. Julie nods. 

“Hey Lori,” Tobin smiles, “why don’t you end things with telling the story about you and Pinoe and the zoo incident and then you all get out of the booth come on down here?” 

Lori laughs from the booth, “Oh man, that one?” Julie nods. 

Leslie chuckles, “We’ll take it from here, Jules, go celebrate!” She turns to Lori, “So?” 

Lori laughs again, “So, it was like, right before the Olympics back in 2012,” she begins. 

 

A couple of hours later, Tobin is sitting at a table under the stars, enjoying the company around her. Her arm is draped over the back of Alex’s chair, she’s listening as Alex finishes up speaking about her upcoming project with Habitat for Humanity. 

They’re on the pitch the just played on, the players from all of the teams, their families and friends all enjoying some time together. Once the fans were ushered from the stadium and the players took their showers and got changed into street clothes, they met everyone on the pitch for a meal and time to relax together. 

Music has started to play, a dance area created on the sideline near them and people are leaving their seats. 

Tobin stands, holding a hand out to Alex, who accepts it and rises. They give their parents hugs, Mike Morgan discreetly slipping something to Tobin who hides it in her hoodie pocket. Tobin leads Alex away from the table and the group altogether, walking towards the center circle. 

They stand there looking it. It’s been trampled by the matches, but Tobin’s design has held up. 

“It’s really beautiful,” Alex murmurs, leaning her head against Tobin’s “so fitting.” 

The design is the silhouette of a woman, on her knees, her arms raised above her head, giving thanks to a beautiful, colorful sky. 

Tobin drops down and assumes that position, smiling and taking a deep breath, “Lex, it’s just so perfect here, on the pitch, so freeing, isn’t it?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Alex smiles down at her, “it feels good.” 

Tobin slowly shifts, going to one knee, “You know what else would feel good?” she questions, a grin covering her face, looking at her expectantly. 

“What’s that?” Alex smirks, expecting a somewhat sexual response. 

“Maybe you saying you’ll marry me?” Tobin questions, pulling the ring box out of her hoodie pocket, opening it and showing it to her.

Neither of them hear how the noise of the crowd gathered becomes silent. 

Alex’s mouth drops open, not expecting this. 

“Lex?” Tobin asks, looking at her earnestly, “Would you be willing to spend the rest of your days with me as my wife? My partner through it all? In sickness and in health? In good times or bad? Will you marry me?” 

“Of course!” Alex replies, it’s actually a shout that all can hear. She hauls Tobin up, kissing her fiercely. She continues to kiss her until Tobin pulls back, “You wanna see the ring?”  
she asks, laughing. 

Alex holds her hand out, her hand shaking, digits spread as Tobin slides the ring on her finger. “Is this from Colorado?” Alex asks, bringing her hand to closer to her face to inspect it. Tobin nods. 

The stone is a beautifully cut blue sapphire that matches the shades in Alex’s eyes. When Alex took Tobin to Mount Rushmore last year as a surprise, they went gem hunting at a mine one of the days on their trip. Tobin was lucky enough to find this gem. She had it set with a platinum band. 

“It’s beautiful,” Alex breathes out, looking and seeing the tears in Tobin’s eyes. “I love you so much!” She lunges forward, kissing her again. 

Loud cheers and applause draws them back to reality that this just occurred with over one hundred people in their presence. They look at each other, grinning wildly, interlocking their fingers and strolling hand in hand back towards the group. 

 

It’s late and the crowd is dwindling, Tobin and Alex sharing a slow dance before they leave as well. They had been busy accepting congratulations from their family and friends before being able to steal away for this dance. 

Alex is letting Tobin lead as they slowly move across the makeshift dance area, their bodies close, Alex’s hands around Tobin’s neck, her head against her shoulder. 

“November 27th,” Tobin says abruptly, leaning her head against Alex’s. 

“What?” Alex questions. 

“November 27th.” Tobin repeats. 

Alex pulls back her head to look at her. “Is that Thanksgiving?” 

Tobin nods, “Yeah,” she smiles, holding her close and whispering in her ear, “would you kill me if I had most of the wedding planned already?” she questions quietly. 

Alex chuckles, drawing her head back again to look at her, “And by mostly planned, what do you mean?” she questions. She’s not surprised at all that Tobin would do this, she’s much more organized than Alex would ever be. 

Tobin shrugs, as she guides her in her arms, “Just cleared the date and location with our families and friends we want there.”  
They had discussed what they would prefer for their wedding, both agreeing on a smaller, quieter affair seeing as how it would be both of their second marriages. 

“I just figured how appropriate it would be to get married on Thanksgiving, you know?” Tobin shares, “A day to recognize who and what we are thankful for.” 

“I like it,” Alex agrees, “we’ll have it here?” Tobin nods. 

“So, we have to plan a menu? Flowers?” Alex inquires. 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles at her, “Photography and music and stuff are done, so is the honeymoon.” 

“Tobin,” Alex’s voice is concerned, “Paris?” 

Tobin smiles again, “Paris.” 

“Honey, I don’t think you’re ready for a flight that long yet, do you?” Alex asks seriously. 

Tobin shakes her head, “No, I don’t,” she says. She gives her a slow smile, “Paris, Texas.” 

“Texas?” Alex’s eyes grow wide. 

Tobin nods. “Their Eiffel Tower has a cowboy hat on it,” she grins, wiggling her eyebrows at her. Alex just laughs, it doesn’t matter to her where they go. 

“Oh,” Tobin nods again, “Allie insists on marrying us,” she states, “she’s already gone online and got her license to be an official minister.” 

“That’s awesome!” Alex laughs, “I love it.” 

“And,” Tobin adds, “she also insists that our Godchild be the flower girl.” 

“But of course!” Alex throws her head back and laughs. Tobin chuckles with her and then Alex lowers her arms to around Tobin’s waist, holding her closer, nestling her head on her shoulder.

“I love you, so much,” she murmurs, growing tired from the events of the day. 

“I love you, too,” Tobin replies, planting a kiss to side of her head. 

The song ends and they move their heads to look at each other, silently agreeing to leave the dance area and head back to say good night to the few who remain. 

They walk silently back to the house, a tiredness creeping over them from the day. Alex punches the code to their gate and holds the door for Tobin. She sees her smirking. 

“What?” she inquires, curious to the goings on in Tobin’s mind. 

Tobin gives her this look that’s smug and full of triumph. She crosses her arms and shakes her head, teasing Alex. “I told you, I wanted to make an honest woman of you before you got knocked up.” She grins at her. 

Alex drops her head, shaking it and laughing, “Oh, babe,” she giggles, “you’re something else.” 

Tobin is just looking at her, wiggling her eyebrows playfully. 

Alex leans in and kisses her, holding the back of Tobin’s head as she persists, making it deeper, full of need and want. 

They break apart, Alex grabbing Tobin’s ass, wiggling her eyebrows back at her, “What do you say, we go and practice that getting knocked up part?” she questions with a smirk. 

Tobin kisses her, gently holding her face with both of her hands. “Of course, my love,” she smiles at her. 

Tobin drops her hands, pulling her keys out from her pocket, turning and then looking over her shoulder at Alex as she opens the door, “You know what they say about that, right?” she grins, raising her eyebrows at Alex. 

“No, what?” Alex questions, shaking her head, knowing something cheesy and stupid is coming. 

“Practice makes perfect!” Tobin laughs, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the house as Alex laughs. 

 

Fini

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kindness in reading this story, your kudos and comments are much appreciated. I don't think this story is over for Tobin and Alex just yet, but there's a few other stories I want to get back into before we check in on them again. 
> 
> As for the 99ers, Best of Canada, Best of the NWSL and the 2015ers- wouldn't this be so cool if it ever happened in real life? Personally, I would buy my ticket and fly wherever they would play to experience it. 
> 
> I'd be thrilled if the NWSL did an Allstar Match with a skills competition. That would be so rad. 
> 
>  
> 
> On another note, next in line is an update to the world of Tobin and Alex from the Good for the Spirit world. Well, actually, that's not true. I've been distracted with another story though, this one a complete AU were monsters are real and witches want to rule the world. It's a little out there, but then again, most of my stories are. It features Tobin and Alex, I know, shocker. 
> 
> While I personally love reading so many other authors here, I'm not cut out for classic love stories. I'm a little too dark and twisted for that. So I let those more talented than me do them, enjoying them for my personal reading pleasure before going back to the weird worlds I like to create. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed getting it on my screen. And for you other writers out there- get going! Be intentional with carving out a little time each day, nothing is more frustrating than having an idea and not being able to get it out. For those of you who haven't written anything but are considering it- do it!  
> It's freeing, it's creative, it's a self satisfying accomplishment. The kudos and the positive comments really do matter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, I'm off my soapbox for the night. Maybe had one glass too many. Thanks y'all.


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